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The difference between libs And Conservatives
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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rdwllce
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Joined: Feb 15, 2009
Posts: 97
Location: Tuscaloosa Alabama

PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2010 6:31 am    Post subject: The difference between libs And Conservatives Reply with quote

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

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Liberals and labotomies go hand in hand.
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8108
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2010 11:11 am    Post subject: Re: The difference between libs And Conservatives Reply with quote

I thought this part of the forum was for jokes?

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4755
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2010 2:07 pm    Post subject: Re: The difference between libs And Conservatives Reply with quote

Ain't that the truth!!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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rdwllce
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Joined: Feb 15, 2009
Posts: 97
Location: Tuscaloosa Alabama

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 10:21 am    Post subject: Re: The difference between libs And Conservatives Reply with quote

Whats funny about it is that the majority of conservatives do not realize this.They are not polarized enough to make a stand.I am sorry bout posting this in the wrong forum. Rick

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14815
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 6:14 pm    Post subject: Re: The difference between libs And Conservatives Reply with quote

Hey Rick....you done good mate...keep it up. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing

Cheers Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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