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An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:03 am    Post subject: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

The Good Wife's Guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite) is part of the warm welcome needed

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit

13. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems

14 Don’t complain if he’s late home for diner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice

17. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgements or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place


"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."
- Erma Bombeck

OK ladies, I'm officially Non Contactable. Hiding If you feel it necessary I can be found somewhere between The Black Stump and The Back of Beyond.

(PS: I'm really in Ward 15, Bed 97, at the local hospital. The Chief of Staff wasn't in agreeance with my comments. Shiner )

Cheers, Vince

_________________
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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:22 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Brave.. very brave Very Happy Very Happy

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11195
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:11 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

All good things for wives to live by...(wife's in Oregon and won't read this)

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jbird22cal
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Joined: Dec 13, 2006
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Location: Baraboo, WI

PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:44 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Though I am now single, fom my latest experiences, I would be happy with number 8. "Be happy to see him" That's always a load off coming home. "Aim small, miss small."

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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud

" I am not trying to be better than you... I'm not even trying to be Holier than you... I'm trying to be better and Holier than I was yesterday!" - jbird22cal
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patrick
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Joined: Jun 18, 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:39 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

for a lot of women, would say that you must have a death wish
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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 7:41 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

John Wayne wrote:
“Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home”

Very Happy

Dimitri

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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 10:53 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Sniper Pistol Shooting Fighting Flame Haha

I didn't know that good housekeeping had a comedy section. Or would that be fantasy section. Though the second one is good.
Quote::
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
And those 15 minutes is also to take some really good meds so we can deal with all of his Censored oh sorry "issues" that he will dump all over us.
Quote::
7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
This isn't so much for him as for her. She needs the time off too and well if he thinks it's for him he can just keep thinking that.
Quote::
8. Be happy to see him

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him

10. Listen to him.
Well this might lose my right to be in the ticketed off womens group but I AGREE with these. Not all of 10 but the first line at least. Hay you've both had long days be happy to see each other. And if you listen to him he better listen to you too.

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:01 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

scared scared Hiding

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:37 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

As an American Chauvenist Male...I expect women to keep their place...At least a 1/2 step behind me...And NEVER ahead of me...See Vince...Told you I was brave. ROFL Fencing

Oh By The Way...Tink. You know why men hold doors open for women to pass through first? Because we don't want to meet the cave bear first...Sacrifice the female...Now I'll hide... Hiding

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Weinbender
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 8:10 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
As an American Chauvenist Male...I expect women to keep their place...At least a 1/2 step behind me...And NEVER ahead of me...See Vince...Told you I was brave. ROFL Fencing

Oh By The Way...Tink. You know why men hold doors open for women to pass through first? Because we don't want to meet the cave bear first...Sacrifice the female...Now I'll hide... Hiding

VERY VERY BRAVE!!!! Shocked

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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
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Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:09 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Quote::
You know why men hold doors open for women to pass through first? Because we don't want to meet the cave bear first...Sacrifice the female
Yup that's us - cannon fodder.
And walking a step behind why not that way we can make faces and check out your tushy. Very Happy
Plus by staying ahead of us you take the bullet first.

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:26 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Hummm...You LIKE my tush, huh.... Very Happy

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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rdncktink
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:50 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hummm...You LIKE my tush, huh.... Very Happy
Help Knew I should've worded that different and anything I try now will dig the hole deeper. Oh well lets just leave that one there and move on.

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:50 pm    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

Yep...yer right Bushy...that is a very brave statement....especially since young Tinks just may have a gun handy.

No doubt about it...you guys crack me up. We got the guys walking ahead of the wimmen...of course...the wimmen checkin' out the guy's tush (I assume that means butt) then denying that they are oggling the guys....where will it all end.
Laughing Laughing ROFL Haha Haha

I'm still trying to work out what the "cave bear" is though.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Fri Dec 14, 2007 10:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Morax
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Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 7:46 am    Post subject: Re: An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping Article Reply with quote

see i open the door for the wife cause she never takes the 1/2 second to read the PUSH/PULL sign on them and bounces into them...
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