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Newlyweds
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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wy111
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Joined: Jun 02, 2005
Posts: 114
Location: N. Yorkshire, U.K. ( Pomgolia)

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:20 am    Post subject: Newlyweds Reply with quote

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc..

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, D**khead? Drink your ******* beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother******* snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't ******* going anywhere! Got it, A**hole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11196
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 11:52 am    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

wy111...Just who's side you on anyway...Oh-oh...Gotta go... Wife just got home...

ROFL

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SwampFox
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Joined: Jul 15, 2005
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Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

And he said the two magic words: "YES DEAR" and they lived happily ever after.
Haha

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6238
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Daymn!!

That story sounds familiar.. Very Happy Very Happy :-D

Somehow us men dont know what freedom is until we got married. By then its too late.. err.. is that you honey.. Yes dear, right away dear..
Hiding

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11196
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Sure are a lot of "confessions going on here...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5910

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 4:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

So you mean I got to get married before I appreciate just how much freedom I got Gelan ?? Laughing

Dimitri

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shrpshtrjoe
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2965
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
So you mean I got to get married before I appreciate just how much freedom I got Gelan ?? Laughing

Dimitri

Very Happy That or Divorced Very Happy
Joe

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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Well Joe, I hope I get it right the first time so there will be no need for divorce. Laughing

Dimitri

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shrpshtrjoe
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
Well Joe, I hope I get it right the first time so there will be no need for divorce. Laughing

Dimitri

I hope you do as well Dimitri.
Joe

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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Joe,

I don't know about anyone else but at the point of the wife bringing out the snacks I'd have considered myself lucky and sat down with my beer and food! Laughing

Is that wrong ?? Confused

Dimitri

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shrpshtrjoe
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Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

No it's not wrong buddy. Bein happily married takes alot of work, from both people. If your with the right person it can be easier but it still takes alot of work.
Joe

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11196
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Yup...A lot of work and I didn't learn a damned thing the first time...

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 5:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Yah, well in a few years when I get married I'll post how the first week went. Laughing

Dimitri

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6238
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:19 am    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

Heh.. come December it will be my 20th wedding anniversary.
Guess I could say I got it right the first time too..
but sometimes .....
Mad Evil or Very Mad

Dimitri, I select a girl that I could sleep with.. Very Happy I meant sleep in literal way.
I guess its the right choice.

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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 1:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Newlyweds Reply with quote

I don't understand what this story's doing in "jokes and humor" Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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