HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: RichardZ
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 13126

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 120
BOT: 1
Total: 121
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Your Account
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Home
09: Home
10: Home
11: Forums
12: Your Account
13: Home
14: Home
15: Photo Albums
16: Photo Albums
17: Forums
18: Home
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Statistics
22: Photo Albums
23: Forums
24: Your Account
25: Your Account
26: Forums
27: Photo Albums
28: Forums
29: Photo Albums
30: Photo Albums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Home
34: Forums
35: Home
36: Home
37: Forums
38: Home
39: Home
40: Photo Albums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Photo Albums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Statistics
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Home
54: Photo Albums
55: Forums
56: Home
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Your Account
60: Your Account
61: Forums
62: Home
63: Your Account
64: Forums
65: Photo Albums
66: Forums
67: Home
68: Forums
69: Home
70: Home
71: Forums
72: Home
73: Forums
74: Home
75: Forums
76: Home
77: Forums
78: Home
79: Photo Albums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Your Account
83: Home
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Your Account
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Home
92: Home
93: Forums
94: Home
95: Forums
96: Your Account
97: Forums
98: Home
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Your Account
102: Home
103: Your Account
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Home
107: Forums
108: Home
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Home
116: Home
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Home
  BOT:
01: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2451
  · Views: 820725
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

Scottish Cows
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Azar
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 04, 2010
Posts: 275
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 3:43 pm    Post subject: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.

The town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. They brought the cow from Scotland.

It was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side.
She just never seems to be in the mood to cooperate."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,
"Did you by chance get this cow in Scotland?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:
"My wife is from Scotland..."
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15704
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 2:46 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11390
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 9:59 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Aaah...Now that wasn't nice...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Azar
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 04, 2010
Posts: 275
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:05 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Eh, I figure I have enough Scottish blood running through my veins that it's not prejudicial. Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2645
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:18 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

I wonder where my ex is from ????

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11390
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:26 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Don't know 'bout your ex, but my ex was of French heritage and she was a cold fish.

Me? Strong Scotch heritage...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9239
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 12:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15704
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:11 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

SCOTTISH Bushy, Scottish mate. Scotch is that nectar of the Gods that we like to sip on a cool night. Cheers Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2645
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:20 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Yes sir Vince, scoch, water no ice.

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain


Last edited by Tremblay on Fri Jan 09, 2015 7:46 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:39 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Perhaps he had a wee tipple before he answered.....

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:41 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Perhaps he had a wee tipple before he answered.....

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9239
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 3:05 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Scratch looks like dhc has too as he is hiccuping already Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Aloysius
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2438
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 4:52 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

Bushy, and you prefer your scotch with ice? So as long as you don't go to the cold Northren countries, in my opinion you made a good choise... Smile
Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11390
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:34 am    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

I prefer my Scotch neat. I've had too many bad ice cubes over the years.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Aloysius
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2438
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Scottish Cows Reply with quote

I understand. When I drink water it will also keep me awake all night... besides it's demineralising you!
Even my dog prefers beer instead of water. So water cannot be good, look what fish do in that stuff... not to mention the Ganges in India...
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.