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Q & A from AARP
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 6:30 am    Post subject: Q & A from AARP Reply with quote

Questions and Answers from the AARP Forum.

Q: Where can single men over the age of 50 find younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-50 year-old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out...

Q: Why should 50-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 8411
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:57 am    Post subject: Re: Q & A from AARP Reply with quote

very good. Ive been into a museum and spotted a carving dish exactly the same as the one we still use at home!
and its not only reading glasses my sunnies get lost on my head too!!!

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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MacD
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Joined: Apr 08, 2011
Posts: 1052
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:03 am    Post subject: Re: Q & A from AARP Reply with quote

Bah - 50 is young. When do you know you are old? .............................................................. DEPENDS LOL

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(Friends are good on the day of battle)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2687
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Q & A from AARP Reply with quote

MacD wrote:
Bah - 50 is young. When do you know you are old? .............................................................. DEPENDS LOL

I'm beginning to think its when you go to several local air museums and the war memorial in Canberra and you have worked on some of the exhibites when they were in service..............

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8103
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2012 9:02 pm    Post subject: Re: Q & A from AARP Reply with quote

Nice ones, OV1. I lost my glasses this week but didn't find them, even on my forehead.

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