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  How I Hunted Fox with a Skunt Bone

Hunting StoriesCourse, that goes with any hunter of yote, hell, I been there. Out in the middle of nothing for 5000 miles, no water, no shade. Slip on of all things a banana peel, WHAMMMM flat on my back. Leg broke with bone sticking through my new huntin boot. Made a splint outta sand (you have to heat it in a fire to make the glass) , splinted up ma leg and finished the hunt. Killed 2 more yote before I passed out due to lack of blood from my broke leg. Though I better try to curb that flow, so I skunt the yotes and used thar seuwn ta stitch the hole. Tucked thet protrusion bone up in the slash and did my best to go ahead and set it. Then I rap it real tight with raw hide coyote pelt. Toasted thet oer a fire I made to mak the glass and harded it lak a cement block. Made maself a sand-glass walkin stick and carried on the hunt a foot. Called in an kilt a Lynx cat, dug one o his tooth out and used it as astichin needle to sew a soft fur coverin oer thet walker. Made another mile a foot, then a see's a filthy flea ridden fox run oer a far ridge line an a say it be a far piece. I set out after the critter with a sharp stick and a single .223 cartridge a found in the bottom o a wash. I caught up ta the vermin about 3 day later, he was hole up in a ol' mine'n tunnel just south o the border in Sonora, Mexico. By the time I git thar he's in a bad way with the hydro-phoby, foamin like a maytag washin machine. I went in, usin a tarch I whittled outta a knotted oak stob. I eyed the critter thar way in the back and went at him with ma sharp stick, bullet, an a pebble a pick up just for I cross the border. Went I had the snarlin rascal cornerd I grab ma gonads an a shook'um at him. When he make his move run thet bullet up his butt on the stick an tap it off with thet pebble. I hears a low sound'in pop, deep inside thet foam flinging filth, and then he shots out a turd. Hits me in the eye with seed filled shat. Som-*****.
I'm blind. I gots a broke leg. Thar in the darkness of an abandon mexican gold tunnel, I fought off that hydro-phoby fox. After the intial shock of the seedy shat, I shook my head. Tryin ta dislodge thet fithy seed infested projectile. Thet vermin is dead at ma feet due to a well placed .223 round in his gullet. I grip ma testicles and check’em fer damage. Bruised and painful, as I recall. I hears it. A poppin sound. Then I rethink to myself a how stupid I been. Pursue a fithy hybro-phoby fox deep into Mexico, runnin into a hole and try finish his foamin carcus off. Where there one fox, they's two. Where thet fella's vixen. I hear a snappin and snarlin, close! She be poppin them teeth like a pissed off Javalina. "Run you blind fool" I thinks to myself. I run for the light, hobblin on a raw-hide leg cast and squinttin one eye. Thet seed shat, burn'in ma rhetna. Every move I make with my swishin and dodgin puttin more a strain on them sand glass leg poles I fashion. Thets when they give it up. Ma glass walker, leg poles just exploded under all thet runnin. I falls ta the dirt floor, thet seed shat pops loose a my eye and nails thet revenge crazed female vixen from hell clean. Right square in the mouth, she chokin on a seedy shat. I grab what I got available, ma testicles. I swings em oer ma head and back to earth. Wham, right on her seed encrusted cranium. We lets loose with a squall lak a twin banshee’s. I scamble ta ma feet and dive fer the light. Ma mashed testies draggin behind lak a fishin lure. I'm free, lord almighty, I's free o thet tunnel o death. I tumbled down a tailings dump and lands on ma feets like a cat, runnin full out back towards the north. I reel in ma nuts and stuff’em back in ma britches. Thet hate filled vixon female fox screamin from inside the tunnel. Her sounds echo'n from off the canyons fer miles.
I staggered into a boarder town round midnight, November of 02'. Them folks took me in and patch me up. Soon enough, I'm on the mend. Took three days a soakin in a hot tub o water to relieve thet raw-hide glass from ma leg. Six week later I head back to the Jeep, I leave it down on the first set near a water hole. All total I been huntin and killin coyote and fox, not to mention the one bob, about two month. Been in the mouth o hell down in Mexico, leg broke, eye shat out, hydro-phoby phlem flung on me, raw hide rapped, glass splinted and sun burn ta hell. And even all thet never stop me from huntin. Now let me tell ya about the mishap I fell upon during a cat hunt down near Bowie, Arizona/ December 3rd 1998...........

Posted by bonita on Friday, February 10, 2006 (18:41:29) (3388 reads) [ Administration ]
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