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We need some four-by-twos
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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RePete
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:17 am    Post subject: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumberyard.

One of the men walked into the office and said,

"We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check."

After a while he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're going to build a house."

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:27 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Ha ha! Good for a morning chuckle!

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Donut Slayer
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:57 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Musta went to Auburn University.

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:53 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Nothing like a little chuckle over coffee and cinamon roll...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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Elvis
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:29 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

man that must have been the apprentice on his first week.
Ive heard of them being sent out to the hardward store for" a long weight"
or course a long wait is what they got.
tartan paint
post holes
the best one was a mate of mine got sent by his building work mates for some glass nails..... well he wasnt dumb and went to the picture framers and got some!!!!! cost his boss a fortune but he saw the funny side of it.

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RePete
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:02 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

We had a routine at the garage I worked at.

Send the young lad to the parts dept for a can of compression, the partsman would send him to another mechanic, who would send him to another mechanic and so on. The kid would come back empty handed, but then you tell him that you had a can.

It kept him out of your hair for a bit.

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Bushmaster
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:36 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Let's see here...Left handed hammers, a bucket of chow line or a bucket water line....Oh yes...And sending a boot camper to the bow to watch for the mail buoy.

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Pumpkinslinger
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
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Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:04 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

A navy friend of mine said that their favorite was sending someone for a bucket of steam to clean with. The smart guy came back with a damp bucket and said "That's funny, it was full when I left!"

At work I always ask for the metric adjustable wrench ...

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:29 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Oh yeh...And I just happen to have one. A Metric adjustable spanner

And there is the "Relative bearing grease"...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...


Last edited by Bushmaster on Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:24 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:32 am    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Pumpkinslinger wrote:
At work I always ask for the metric adjustable wrench ...

I bought one when I went to Greece the first time, just in case someone asked for that. Very Happy

Dimitri

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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2360
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:35 pm    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

We had a young bloke from another Squadron (fast jets) sent down to my squadron (propeller driven Caribous) for a bucket of "Prop Wash" and some K9P lubricant.
He was less than impressed when I handed him a bucket and directed him behind a running aircraft. He was told that K9P was available at the police dog section or at a pinch he could supply it himself..........
Then there's the young bloke looking for a "long weight" :0

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Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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multigauge
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Joined: Apr 16, 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 6:17 pm    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Don't forget to replace your muffler bearings.
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multigauge
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 6:18 pm    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

Don't forget to replace your muffler bearings.
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:54 pm    Post subject: Re: We need some four-by-twos Reply with quote

We had young Argentinian turn up to rugby one night because he thought he might like to play, he said he knew the field positions until the coach asked him if he ever played Left Right Out, the kid hadn't heard of that position and we were left laughing ourselves silly....took him a while to get it. Turned out to be an alright player too.

I regularly tell clients (criminals) to go cough a long way away -Far Cough, they don't get it!

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