Guys, RUOK?

Grey_Wolf · Member Joined: Aug 06, 2015 Posts: 186

Vince wrote:

Grey_Wolf wrote:

Not sure what SWMBO means but thanks. ...

As Elvis said mate...She Who Must Be Obeyed...your better half mate.

You have both my respect and my sympathy mate. You are doing what needs to be done for your wife. There are some who would simply put their partner in a Nursing Home and walk away. It isn't easy looking after an invalid, but it's something we do for our loved ones. As the marriage vows stated..."For better or for worse, in sickness and in health".

We did the same thing for my Mum, now 93, until she had no option but to go into a Nursing Home. My wife did the toilet/shower things, but we both shared in the other tasks, and it wasn't easy, so I know exactly how difficult life is for you mate.

I understand how you feel about being alone after so many years together, but as they say, 'it's not over until the fat lady sings', so make the most of your time together and enjoy life together whilst doing everything to give SWMBO the best possible quality of life you can. I know this sounds a little callous, but at least you have time to prepare yourself for the eventual outcome, and remember, if you wish to talk about anything, we are here mate.

Not sure about the time to prepare thing. This has been the most painful experience, watching her slowly deteriorate to the end. The Home Care nurse came the other day and put in an emergency request to get Yes Dear into the hospital. Tuesday she goes to a town about an hour and a half away cause the local one doesn't have a bed available. It's like I've already started grieving, I know once she is in the hospital she isn't coming out and that is really hard to accept. She could have waited a bit as Home Care got extra funding for an aid every day but there is no guarantee when the next bed will be available so Yes Dear decided to take the bed. It's tough, I spend my time at work fighting tears

Vince · Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 8:09 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Be strong mate...easier said than done, I know. Your wife will pick up on your emotions and it will not help her to be as strong as she needs to be. You are right about grieving as soon as they go into hospital...I did the same with my Dad.

As I said mate...if you ned to talk or vent...we are here.

Grey_Wolf · Member Joined: Aug 06, 2015 Posts: 186

Thanks. It's tough not to let it show. In my mind I always knew this would take her sooner than later, her going into the hospital just brought it up to the here and now. As long as she was at home I was safe if that makes sense - she was with me.

Vince · Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 10:39 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Grey_Wolf wrote:

Thanks. It's tough not to let it show. In my mind I always knew this would take her sooner than later, her going into the hospital just brought it up to the here and now. As long as she was at home I was safe if that makes sense - she was with me.

I know EXACTLY what you mean mate...but unfortunately there comes a time when we need to let the experts take control, and more often than not that expert is the good Lord himself.

Grey_Wolf · Member Joined: Aug 06, 2015 Posts: 186

Vince wrote:

Grey_Wolf wrote:

Thanks. It's tough not to let it show. In my mind I always knew this would take her sooner than later, her going into the hospital just brought it up to the here and now. As long as she was at home I was safe if that makes sense - she was with me.

I know EXACTLY what you mean mate...but unfortunately there comes a time when we need to let the experts take control, and more often than not that expert is the good Lord himself.

Well Vince - the good Lord saw fit to take her from me today. I know she isn't suffering anymore and am happy for that but that doesn't make it any better for me. I'm shattered and at a loss of what to do. Junior has come to spend a few days with me.

It's been tough to watch. I was taking care of her till the last few weeks and drove to the city daily to spend a few hours with her. What an awful disease

Elvis · Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:24 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

our thoughts n prayers are with you Mate.

Vince · Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Grey_Wolf wrote:

Well Vince - the good Lord saw fit to take her from me today. I know she isn't suffering anymore and am happy for that but that doesn't make it any better for me. I'm shattered and at a loss of what to do. Junior has come to spend a few days with me.

It's been tough to watch. I was taking care of her till the last few weeks and drove to the city daily to spend a few hours with her. What an awful disease

I'm really sorry to hear that mate. Crying or Very sad

You are right...cancer is a terrible, insidious disease. Mad

Your wife is obviously a good person and the Good Lord must hold her in high esteem to call her home on such a day as Good Friday. The saving grace is, as you said, she isn't suffering anymore. The unfortunate part is now it's you who are suffering, along with your family.

It's now time to sit back, try to relax a bit and take stock of your life mate...it's time to look after yourself. There is no doubt in my mind that your lovely wife would want you to spend more time putting your life back on track rather than sitting around grieving.

Having said that mate, the grieving process is a very important and necessary thing for you and your family. Be there for one another, don't be afraid to lean on one another and shed tears as they come...and they will. Those tears are another necessary part of the grieving process as well mate. Focus on the time you shared with your wife, the good and the maybe not so good, because they are your memories and it's those memories that will help you recover from your loss.

Your wife will always be there in one form or another, and little things will happen that will seem odd, but chances are it's her watching over you and the family. Don't be afraid to talk to her when you feel the need. I still talk to my Dad and he's been gone for nearly 10 years now.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help or support from friends if you need it...that includes your friends here on The Nut. We are all strong, but still need help from time to time.

Condolences to you and your family from my wife and myself mate.

gelandangan · Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:56 am Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

My condolences Grey_Wolf.

Grey_Wolf · Member Joined: Aug 06, 2015 Posts: 186

Thanks all. She had ALS otherwise called Lou Gehrig's disease. It started out slow several years ago and ramped up in the last year or so then really came hard in the last three months. I know she isn't suffering any more, she's free to ride the pastures now.

gelandangan · Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2016 3:30 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

So another year guys.. RUOK?

for me this year has been a big year. I guess I am quite lucky this year.

First, in the beginning of the year I created new etching machines and get them made in bulk. Happy to say that since the market release last month they sold really well - so much that I picked up a distributor that bought the entire production.

In July a real estate agent approaches me and tell me that there is someone interested in purchasing the building my camera store is in. I tell them that the building is not for sale unless they buy me out of my camera store business. Last week, he came back with a very good offer, so I accepted. Now the contract of sale is being made.
I have been in the shop for 23 years, working most of my adult life behind the counter in the shop, it has been almost my second home. I guess it is a big change to no longer go to "work" there.

Now since I am still young (compared to most of you old farts) I would need to relocate and start a new business. So I am looking for a warehouse setup where I can expand my engineering side of the business. The problem is in Sydney, real estate properties are really going up the roof in prices. With the money I received for the sale of my shop (less mortgage) there is little chance for me to be able to purchase a good size warehouse/office setup. Somehow, my neighbor told me that one of the guys in the street have a warehouse for sale, and after getting in touch with the vendor, we agreed of the price that I could afford. So, the settlement of my store will be at the end of January, simultaneously with the settlement of the warehouse. Which means that there will be a lot less effort in finding temporary moving storage. Whats more, the "new" property is very nicely presented just at the end of an industrial zone, and is close to my home.

I am happy.
SWMBO whose opinion matters the most is happy.

I hope you guys have great luck and happy as well.

Elvis · Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2016 10:16 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Mate the pieces are falling into place for you,it must be meant to happen that way.
all is good over here for my family we are ticking along nicely with the teenage years hurdles getting less and lower as we go, the young fella got kicked out of school for hitting another student, but has got into a course with military links to continue his education,its mostly fitness with lots of outdoorzie type stuff so suits his personality.
SWMBO has changed jobs and now works afternoons as cooks assistant in old folks home right next door to our now residence.
I have started on journey myself exploring my faith and have found a mens group here in town to help with the fellowship side of that, still aren't attending a church yet but will see how that one pans out. went to promise keepers with son again this year and really got a lot out of it,I can see that being an annual trip for the pair of us.
Toadlet is still studying up the road and HOPEFULLY staying out of trouble.
dogs getting fat as we not doing much hunting.
so yip all in all live is great Very Happy

Suzanne · Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2016 10:21 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Good for you Geland!! You don't even have time to whimper about anything, cause it all works through, that's great. Sounds like you're stirring a lot of pots on the stove but I guess the cook knows what he's doin and dinner is about to be served. I'm happy for you!

I've been more busy at work, we've gone from a 3 day week to a 5 day week and even getting overtime occasionally. Just got a 3 dollar/hour raise (bout time) and just saw the biggest pay check I've ever had. Now if I can only keep up. I'm working with a new gal in the office and she's very talented and motivated, a cleaning whiz and it's like working in a new office compared to the stick-n-th-mud I used to work with. I actually got a week off because she's able to take over when I'm gone. After 25 years I deserve a break right?

My ham radio is now a high frequency radio because I passed my next license test and I've put up a new antenna to get me some long distance contacts. Been making some antennas to try out and I find it more fun to do than gettin on the radio. Talking to people you don't know is kinda strange sometimes....can you hear me? I can hear you.....where are you?....what's the temperature there?...What radio and antenna set-up are you using?...well they don't want you to talk politics or religion so you have to squirm through conversations about nothing in particular, and of course no cussing (dang).

I sort of stopped buying guns, but I keep finding ones I want. It's very difficult to just go out into the woods and shoot anymore because of all the man made forest fires. I belong to a shooting range but it's not very fun and it's never made my day goin there to shoot. Haven't got my money's worth out of it.

Hope you all are spitting
right along, keepin up
with the Jones's and
quaffing a few for
ole times
sake

Suz

Vince · Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2016 11:29 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Gelan, I'm so happy for you mate...you deserve the good things that are happening for you. I can see your engineering business taking off mate. Who knows, you might even be able to squeeze a wee forge and smithy into the back corner of the warehouse. When you sell your shop, does all the stock go with it mate? I should talk to you about a decent, reasonably priced digital SLR camera. We'll have to get together once you are settled in and have a couple of ales mate.

Elvis...I'm happy to hear that things are going well for you and the family mate. Your young fella will settle down soon enough...we have all been there at one time or another. I know I busted a couple of noses on other guys in high school and I grew up OK and learned to keep my hands to myself...when necessary.

More work Suz...great stuff mate. More work means more income means an easier life. Range shooting can get boring mate, but I found that Clay Target shooting helps. I shoo6t Sporting Clays now and it simulates field shooting and can be a mix of frustrating, fun and pleasure...just like real hunting.

This year has been a bit "up and down" for me. I've had weeks where I am happier than a pig in mud, then I've also had weeks where I feel like running away and hiding from the world. I suppose we all go through times like that, so no sense in whinging. Something to look forward to...as at today there is only 107 days to Christmas.

dhc4ever · Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2016 2:30 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Well Darwin,
Interesting times indeed.
Glad it's all falling into place, looks like you'll be a busy little beaver.
Good luck with it all.

gelandangan · Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2016 3:20 pm Post subject: Re: Guys, RUOK?

Thanks guys. Yes it will be interesting times for the year to come.