HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: denislarion
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 2
Overall: 12312

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 83
BOT: 3
Total: 86
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: Photo Albums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: News
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Photo Albums
16: Photo Albums
17: Photo Albums
18: Photo Albums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Photo Albums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Photo Albums
25: Forums
26: Photo Albums
27: News
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Photo Albums
31: Photo Albums
32: Forums
33: Photo Albums
34: Forums
35: Home
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Photo Albums
42: Forums
43: Photo Albums
44: Photo Albums
45: Forums
46: Photo Albums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Photo Albums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Photo Albums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: PointBlank Online
59: Forums
60: Home
61: Photo Albums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Photo Albums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Photo Albums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Photo Albums
71: Forums
72: Home
73: Forums
74: Photo Albums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Photo Albums
78: Photo Albums
79: Forums
80: Photo Albums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 312
 Pictures: 2408
  · Views: 237935
  · Votes: 1255
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

The thermometer
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1385
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 11:43 pm    Post subject: The thermometer Reply with quote

When you have an


'I Hate My Job day'


[Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days]

Try this
out:

Stop at your pharmacy


and
go to the thermometer section and

purchase
a rectal thermometer made

by
Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this
brand.

When
you get home, lock your doors,

draw
the curtains and disconnect the phone
so
you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit
in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the
thermometer.

Now,
carefully place it on a table or a surface
so
that it will not become chipped or broken.




Now
the fun part begins.

Take
out the literature from the box and read it
carefully.

You
will notice that in small print there is a
statement:


"Every
Rectal
Thermometer
made by Johnson & Johnson
is
personally tested

and then
sanitized."
Now,
close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in
the thermometer quality control department at

Johnson
& Johnson.'


HAVE
A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE
OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!



Remember,
if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
heart....

Maybe
you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson!




Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6538
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 2:14 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

driving a truck just started to look a whole lot nicer...
thankyou for the chuckle.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6682
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:52 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

Tremblay, thanks for the morning chuckle to start the day!

Elvis, you have a picture window as part of your "office". I always thought that is a great benefit!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:04 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

Good one Tremblay!

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 733

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:55 pm    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

Ouch!

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6538
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:17 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

slimjim its nice apart from when you work by your hunting area and cant get a day of Mad f... Im off for a hunt on Saturday Very Happy

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12582
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:32 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

I'm a bit curious about how they staff this department at Johnson & Johnson.

"Attention Staff Members...it's time for the daily draw to see who is "assisting" in the rectal thermometer testing facility. Those whose names are drawn will report to the facility manager who will assign you a position on the Bend Over Rack. Thank you. First name out is..."
scared scared wtf wtf burr burr Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:36 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
I'm a bit curious about how they staff this department at Johnson & Johnson.

"Attention Staff Members...it's time for the daily draw to see who is "assisting" in the rectal thermometer testing facility. Those whose names are drawn will report to the facility manager who will assign you a position on the Bend Over Rack. Thank you. First name out is..."
scared scared wtf wtf burr burr Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

First name out is.. "Vince" Shocked scared scared scared Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12582
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:39 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

1895ss wrote:
Vince wrote:
I'm a bit curious about how they staff this department at Johnson & Johnson.

"Attention Staff Members...it's time for the daily draw to see who is "assisting" in the rectal thermometer testing facility. Those whose names are drawn will report to the facility manager who will assign you a position on the Bend Over Rack. Thank you. First name out is..."
scared scared wtf wtf burr burr Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

First name out is.. "Vince" Shocked scared scared scared Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

DOH scared Hiding scared Hiding

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2151
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:41 am    Post subject: Re: The thermometer Reply with quote

The only real worry would be the 2 hands on the sholders.

How do you spell

ARMAGEDDON!!!!!!!!!

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.