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Girlfriend to Wife
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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cbsweeney
Member
Member


Joined: Jun 18, 2010
Posts: 197
Location: New York

PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:53 pm    Post subject: Girlfriend to Wife Reply with quote

Girlfriend to wife
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

- Mr I N Distress

Dear I N Distress,

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

WARNING DO NOT TRY TO un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous.

You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 2.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Girlfriend 2.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-recoverable system crash.

Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push the apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs.

The system will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0

-Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD

-Frequently use Communicator 5.0

With best wishes,

Tech Support.

_________________
Give a man a fish, and he will eat today. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7050
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 4:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Girlfriend to Wife Reply with quote

cbs, this is a pretty good one! I needed the chuckle after a long day in the sun fixing the sprinkler system.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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seaimsk
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2010
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 11:11 pm    Post subject: Re: Girlfriend to Wife Reply with quote

It's time to start winning the way I know you can and before you think it's about getting a man to do what you want, you have to know that it's more a mindset that helps you to get there.

Honestly, you can't BE anything for a man - and you shouldn't. You have to BECOME something for yourself!!!

This may not be what you want to hear but I'm not into overhyping, sugar-coating, backyard lies in order to hyjack your emotions.
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7050
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 6:05 am    Post subject: Re: Girlfriend to Wife Reply with quote

seaimsk, are you married?

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 7:47 am    Post subject: Re: Girlfriend to Wife Reply with quote

Bigger question slimjim. Is seaimsk a man or a woman? ROFL

And seaimsk...Welcome to the NUT. Grab a beer, pull up a stump next to the fire and join right in.

You hunt? what? And with what?

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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