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Good Aussie Humour
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:53 pm    Post subject: Good Aussie Humour Reply with quote

FASTER THAN......


Four men were being interviewed for a job.
The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

The Irishman replied, "A thought. It pops into your head, there's no forewarning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good," replied the interviewer.
"And now you, sir," he asked the Pom.

"Hmmm, let me see..... a blink!," said the second man. "It comes and goes and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!", said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye. That's a very popular cliché for speed."
He then turned to the Yank who was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out on my Pa's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across the paddock the light at the barn comes on in an instant.
Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light." he said.
Turning to the Aussie, he posed the same question.

"After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the fastest thing known is diarrhoea," said the Aussie.

"What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response?

"Oh, I can explain," said the Aussie, "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could, think, blink, or turn on the light, I sh1t my pants." Shocked Shocked Shocked
Laughing Laughing ROFL

He got the job.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2008 4:37 am    Post subject: Re: Good Aussie Humour Reply with quote

It must have been that green taco! It does that to me every time.

Cary

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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:02 am    Post subject: Re: Good Aussie Humour Reply with quote

He!!...I don't even need a"green taco" to get that response...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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