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Policeman testifies in court....................
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Dimitri
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5853
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:43 am    Post subject: Policeman testifies in court.................... Reply with quote

Policeman testifies in court....................


If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.



He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.


The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Morax
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 2:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Policeman testifies in court.................... Reply with quote

Nice!!! hey i trust certain folks with my life, the wife the kids, the dogs... but they will never get the keys to the motorcycle or the gunlocks!
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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2871
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 2:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Policeman testifies in court.................... Reply with quote

Very Happy Good Answer Very Happy

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elothello
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Feb 07, 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Othello, WA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 6:17 am    Post subject: Re: Policeman testifies in court.................... Reply with quote

Morax wrote:
Nice!!! hey i trust certain folks with my life, the wife the kids, the dogs... but they will never get the keys to the motorcycle or the gunlocks!

Hey, got a shoe box of them gunlocks, want some more? Poke

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Practice Practice Practice.

May God make me half as important as my dog seems to think I am.
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multigauge
Rookie Member
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Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 17

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 6:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Policeman testifies in court.................... Reply with quote

A similar thing happened in our town many years ago. An old Italian-American celery farmer sued the store that was built next door for flooding his garden. The store brought in a high-priced lawyer to represent them. In an effort to limit the store's liability the following exchange occurred on the stand:

Lawyer: Sir, what did you do with your property prior to this alleged flooding?

Farmer: I raised celerys.

Lawyer: You raised celerys. How many celerys would you say you raised?

Farmer: How many hairs you got onna you head?
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