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Cowboy-vs-Government
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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glockman55
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Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 831
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:24 am    Post subject: Cowboy-vs-Government Reply with quote

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give my back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U .S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.

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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2612
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:37 am    Post subject: Re: Cowboy-vs-Government Reply with quote

Good one Glock, there's quit a few politicians out there like that ...... ROFL ROFL ROFL

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'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11393
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:49 am    Post subject: Re: Cowboy-vs-Government Reply with quote

S#+t... ROFL ROFL ROFL Cheers

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tracker
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Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:56 am    Post subject: Re: Cowboy-vs-Government Reply with quote

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL Haha Haha Haha ROFL ROFL

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