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New Bull
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14125
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 4:29 am    Post subject: New Bull Reply with quote

Three bulls hear the rancher is bringing another bull onto the ranch, and will most likely be reassigning cows to each one.

The first bull says to the others, “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.”

“I’ve been here three years,” says the second bull, “and have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all my cows.”

“I’ve only been here a year,” the third bull says, “and so far, you guys have only let me have ten cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I’m keeping all 10 of my cows.”

Just then, an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they’ve ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

Terrified, the bulls immediately change tack. “I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend,” the first bull offers.

“I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I’m certainly not looking for an argument,” the second says.

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

“Son, don’t be foolish, let him have some of your cows and live to tell the tale,” the first bull urges.

“Hell, he can have all my cows, the third bull responds. I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull.”

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7931
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 1:46 pm    Post subject: Re: New Bull Reply with quote

I love this one, Vince! Thanks for the chuckle.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2519
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 2:33 pm    Post subject: Re: New Bull Reply with quote

Not cringe worthy at all.
You're slipping Vince.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10750
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 8:55 am    Post subject: Re: New Bull Reply with quote

Always the critic...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2519
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:24 pm    Post subject: Re: New Bull Reply with quote

Morning Bushy.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10750
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:31 pm    Post subject: Re: New Bull Reply with quote

Mornin' Pete...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6011
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:32 pm    Post subject: Re: New Bull Reply with quote

Haha

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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