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Two many drinks
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1829
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:35 am    Post subject: Two many drinks Reply with quote

Get your tissues ready


A story to bring a tear to your eye ...

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.

The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy.

With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop! A torso pops out!

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy.

The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink!"

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!"

The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees tearfully .

The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

*

*

(Wait for it.)



*



*



*



(It's coming.)



*



*



(Ya ready?)



*



*



* (Don't hate me!)



*



*



* (Yer gonna hate me!)



*



*



* (Take a deep breath)



*



*



*



" He should've quit while he was a head"

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2360
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Two many drinks Reply with quote

We have a winner!!

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13634
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 4:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Two many drinks Reply with quote

dhc4ever wrote:
We have a winner!!

Yep, I must concede to that one Trembles...it is most crown worthy mate.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7538
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:02 pm    Post subject: Re: Two many drinks Reply with quote

clear winner...... but now we will have to put up with the come back....

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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slimjim
Super Member
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7562
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Two many drinks Reply with quote

Ok, you convinced me to take the time to read it .....

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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slimjim
Super Member
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7562
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Two many drinks Reply with quote

... maybe I should have read it with an "Down-Under" accent for it to be a winner.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10568
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:26 am    Post subject: Re: Two many drinks Reply with quote

Still can't find that "face slap" emoticon.

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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