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Drinking, Fishing and Hunting
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13144
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:58 am    Post subject: Drinking, Fishing and Hunting Reply with quote

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7133
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 7:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Drinking, Fishing and Hunting Reply with quote

Ok, Vince! This one is good! Thanks for the chuckle.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7030
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:15 pm    Post subject: Re: Drinking, Fishing and Hunting Reply with quote

very good one indeed....and so true.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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