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Brutally honest obituary
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13463
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 10:04 pm    Post subject: Brutally honest obituary Reply with quote

Most people tend to forgive and forget the mistakes of the deceased, except for those rare cases when the recently departed was a bonafide jerk.

When it came time to write the obituary for Leslie Ray “Popeye” Charping, the people he left behind didn’t pull any punches.

Check out the most brutally honest obituary we’ve ever read courtesy of the Carnes Funeral Home in Galveston, Texas.

Leslie Ray ‘Popeye’ Charping was born in Galveston on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.

“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges. While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

“Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

“With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until ‘Ray,’ the family donkey’s wood shavings run out. Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.”

Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Super Member
Super Member

Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7340
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2017 10:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Brutally honest obituary Reply with quote

holy smoke Batman!!!!!!!!!!!!
sounds like family will/should be having a party to celebrate.

You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 1370
Location: North Central Montana

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 12:10 am    Post subject: Re: Brutally honest obituary Reply with quote

I believe it was Leslie's daughter that wrote it...

My 1911 is more effective than your 911.
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Super Member

Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2331
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 1:16 am    Post subject: Re: Brutally honest obituary Reply with quote

Well that blows a long held belief out of the water.
That belief?
That apart from Adolf Hitler, no one was a bastard when they died.......


Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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