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Thursday night funny........
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12817
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:04 am    Post subject: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

Anoldie, but a goodie...

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,

'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.

A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account..

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each..

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him.

"You-a gonna try again!"

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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slimjim
Super Member
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6849
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:01 am    Post subject: Re: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

Vince, once again you come through with my morning chuckle! Thanks.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4678
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 9:59 am    Post subject: Re: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

Awesome mate! It at foist ya don't succeed, keep on sucking til ya do succeed!
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5648
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:11 am    Post subject: Re: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

Haha

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1457
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:12 am    Post subject: Re: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

Laughing Haha

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
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RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 750

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:51 am    Post subject: Re: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

Excellent.

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Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6745
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Thursday night funny........ Reply with quote

sure is a goodie.......

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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