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A Bloody Great Aussie Poem...
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14220
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:07 am    Post subject: A Bloody Great Aussie Poem... Reply with quote

Must have been a Kiwi import this Bloke...


Aussie Poem

The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.

He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams

He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.

"Typical bloody sheep," he thought,"they've got no common sense,
"They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence."

The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She’d stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.

But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.

He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.

Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option; he would have to take a swim.

He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.

He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her somewhere near the middle of the dam.

The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.

At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath.
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.

She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.

Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.

The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own; his wife had gone away.

He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But neither was he ready for what he was soon to see.

He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.

And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly, "Come back here, you lousy bitch!"

The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far.

So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:05 pm    Post subject: Re: A Bloody Great Aussie Poem... Reply with quote

Shocked Shocked Shocked You Aussie Blokes .... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6032
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 8:11 pm    Post subject: Re: A Bloody Great Aussie Poem... Reply with quote

Poor cocky ..
The dirty minded stock rep musta be from Nu Zulund.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Loke
Member
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Joined: May 13, 2013
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 9:31 pm    Post subject: Re: A Bloody Great Aussie Poem... Reply with quote

Are you sure that didn't happen in Spanish Fork?

_________________
Life is too short to carry an ugly gun.
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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 8020
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:35 pm    Post subject: Re: A Bloody Great Aussie Poem... Reply with quote

Poor ewe will be traumatized!!!!
Now a Kiwi bloke would have sent his trusty dog into round her up while he stayed in ute and listened to the Aussies getting a hiding from the Allblacks!!!!

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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radar
Super Member
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:46 pm    Post subject: Re: A Bloody Great Aussie Poem... Reply with quote

I backing Elvis, the dog would have done all the work.
See I told you that Aussies were the sheep shaggers not us Kiwis, hell they got colonized and settled well before NZ.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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