Don't say I didn't warn you! I'll quietly retreat to the ladder….

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in Grade 9. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.....

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment. HOW GOOD IS THAT!

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. EVEN BETTER

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time..'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiiit'.

I'll make space up here on the top rung of the ladder Radar...plenty of room mate.

Naw...That's way wrong. The difference between fairytale and a story is:

"Once upon a time" and"This is a no shiiiter"....Ask Vince. He tells a lot of them. The latter being the most prominent.

your ol blue drum sounds like a grouse ol dame!!!

Bushmaster wrote:

Naw...That's way wrong. The difference between fairytale and a story is: "Once upon a time" and"This is a no shiiiter"....Ask Vince. He tells a lot of them. The latter being the most prominent.

Yup...that's me.