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#106: Re: Feral Cats Author: tikkat3,

Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:06 pm
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I wouldn't be hanging anything low over that if I was busting

#107: Re: Feral Cats Author: gelandangan, Location: Sydney Australia

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 12:16 am
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wiersy111 wrote:

Here kitty kitty kitty Very Happy

good way to wash toilet.

just close lid, sit and flush a few times..

#108: Re: Feral Cats Author: Vince, Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 12:18 am
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Hey Wiersy old mate...a rotary kitty wash. Don't fergit to close the lid, sit on top, and keep dangly bits from hangin' over the side while the "ride" is in progress. Laughing

Cheers, Vince

#109: Re: Feral Cats Author: gelandangan, Location: Sydney Australia

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 12:21 am
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right on Vince Very Happy

LOL great (dirty and disturbed) minds thinks alike..

#110: Re: Feral Cats Author: whittling, Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:38 am
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I just hope that its a big hole in the bottom of the ride for a big finale .

#111: Re: Feral Cats Author: chambered221, Location: Lost for good !!!

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:42 am
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My brother gave me one of these years ago as a birthday present !!!
Earl the dead cat

I can’t find him right now but he’s here somewhere.
He even came with a death certificate.

#112: Re: Feral Cats Author: Vince, Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:39 am
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How to Wash Your Cat

Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this popular belief, cats do NOT have some enzyme in their saliva that resembles Tide (with or without bleach).

Cats, like their nemesis, the dog .... do get dirty and have a variety of odors... from smelling like the outhouse where you camped last year to the same odor as your dog's breath. (Remember... your dog will try to eat anything.) Now we all know that cats HATE water. And we know that giving the cat a sedative to ease this process of a bath is out of the question.

So, the best approach is both sneaky and direct. Remember now, this is not the dumb dog who can be led to tub with lies and a trail of Kibbles and Bits.

Although your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you .... you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.

1. First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire... the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom .... speed is essential. In one single liquid motion .shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.

7. As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat . reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door .... put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13. In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.

Last edited by Vince on Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:17 am; edited 1 time in total

#113: Re: Feral Cats Author: chambered221, Location: Lost for good !!!

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:47 am
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ROFL

#114: Re: Feral Cats Author: Vince, Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:13 am
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An alternative:

How to Wash the Cat...

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Cheers, Vince

#115: Re: Feral Cats Author: wiersy111, Location: Central Minnesota

Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:52 pm
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WOW that is hilarious!!!!!!! Almost makes me wish I had a cat. We have a lake about 1/4 mile down the road I always thought it was fun taking cats out in the boat and ejecting them in the middle. Surprising what good swimmers they are. Now I'll have to see if I can get my son to try Vince's methods!!!!

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