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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15715 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:58 pm Post subject: Military Wisdom |
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An oldie, but a goody...with some new ones I haven't seen before.
Military Wisdom
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." — Infantry Journal
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." — US Air Force Manual
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons." — General MacArthur
"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
"Tracers work both ways." — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual
"Five second fuses only last three seconds." — Infantry Journal
The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." — USAF Ammo Troop
"You've never been lost until you"ve been lost at Mach 3." — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." —Unknown Author
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe." — Fixed Wing Pilot
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." — Multi-Engine Training Manual
"Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club." — Unknown Author
"If you hear me yell; 'Eject, Eject, Eject!,' the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask 'Why?' you"ll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot." — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies." — Sign over Control Tower Door
"Never trade luck for skill." — Author Unknown
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." — Basic Flight Training Manual
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!" — Unknown Author
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." — Emergency Checklist
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot"s reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
Cheers, Vince
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8314 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:03 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Vince, these are great! Having flown F18s and A7s in the US Navy and F4 in the USAF plus about a dozen other airplanes, these really ring home. There are a few others you can add to the list.
"Speed is life!"
"Never trade airspeed for altitude!"
"You only can tie the guy that flew the lowest!!!"
I learned those three the hard way.
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1895ss Super Member
Joined: Jul 21, 2005 Posts: 2612 Location: Not Here...!!
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Suzanne Super Member
Joined: Jun 27, 2009 Posts: 3323 Location: Eugene, Oregon
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Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:57 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Well done Vince! I was an aircrew survival equipmentman (person), in the Navy, loved it. And hated it. Aircrew were fun to work with. I loved those ole twin engine S2s firing up in the morning, big billowing smoke then the sound of the prup prup prup like a race car on idle. My shop was right on the flight line, got to see all the action.
Suz
_________________ May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams. |
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wiersy111 Super Member
Joined: May 13, 2009 Posts: 2376 Location: Central Minnesota
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Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:42 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Now that's funny Vince. A little disappointed there are no Tanker jokes.
_________________ A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."
US ARMY RETIRED
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it! |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8314 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:39 am Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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wiersy111 wrote: |
A little disappointed there are no Tanker jokes. |
Fighter pilot pulls up to get some gas and does a barrel role around the Tanker exclaiming over the radio "How did you like that!?!" The Tanker pilot radios back "Here, watch what we can do". The fighter pilot backs off a bit to give the tanker some room to maneuver ... and waits ... and waits. Finally the frustrated fighter pilot radios "I've been waiting, when are you going to do something?" The Tanker pilot replies "I already did. I hit the head and ate a steak!"
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6397 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:07 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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slimjim wrote: |
wiersy111 wrote: |
A little disappointed there are no Tanker jokes. |
Fighter pilot pulls up to get some gas and does a barrel role around the Tanker exclaiming over the radio "How did you like that!?!" The Tanker pilot radios back "Here, watch what we can do". The fighter pilot backs off a bit to give the tanker some room to maneuver ... and waits ... and waits. Finally the frustrated fighter pilot radios "I've been waiting, when are you going to do something?" The Tanker pilot replies "I already did. I hit the head and ate a steak!" |
Thats a good one..
My air force pilot mate told me that there is one thing you cant get used to,
that is either piss with your pants on or just hold it in till you land.
Definitely doesn't sound as glamorous anymore
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8314 Location: Fort Worth TX
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wiersy111 Super Member
Joined: May 13, 2009 Posts: 2376 Location: Central Minnesota
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:10 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Wrong Tanker!!! I'm the kind that stays on the ground and likes to make a big BOOM.
_________________ A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."
US ARMY RETIRED
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it! |
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shrpshtrjoe Super Red Neck Member
Joined: Jan 26, 2005 Posts: 2965 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:01 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
Aint it the truth . I was a Crew Chief on the CH-47.....
Joe
_________________ "MOLON LABE"
P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals |
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Dimitri Super Member
Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5944
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wiersy111 Super Member
Joined: May 13, 2009 Posts: 2376 Location: Central Minnesota
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Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:53 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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"Pointy end toward enemy!" That was the most significant learning point in my Advanced Non Commissioned Officers Course.
_________________ A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."
US ARMY RETIRED
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it! |
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sniper Super Member
Joined: Aug 18, 2005 Posts: 735 Location: Utah
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Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 6:09 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Ahhhhh, yesss...the "Pilot Relief Tube"! I'd forgotten this till slimjim mentioned them.
One got hung up in the fuselage of a B-47, and the pilot wrote a complaint in the log: " Relief tube too short!"
Some nameless maintenance crewman tugged on it a bit, which freed it, then entered in the logbook: "Relief tube just fine, pecker too short! "
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wiersy111 Super Member
Joined: May 13, 2009 Posts: 2376 Location: Central Minnesota
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Posted: Fri Apr 02, 2010 6:46 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Now that is hilarious
_________________ A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."
US ARMY RETIRED
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it! |
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A17Shooter Super Member
Joined: Jan 26, 2005 Posts: 322 Location: California Foothills (Gold Country)
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Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 2:06 pm Post subject: Re: Military Wisdom |
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Navy A4 pilot had been out late drinking (imagine that). Following morning he is flying a low level training mission across the Nevada desert with a hangover larger than the cockpit. In this state he decides that he would feel better if he could get more blood to his head. He flips inverted at around 400 kts and a hundred ft. Seeing an obstacle ahead he realizes that he needs to gain altitude. When he starts to pull back on the stick, the angel on his shoulder screams, "NOOOOO Asshole!!!". He corrected his mistake and then decided that flying inverted at low altitude wasn't good for his health and well being.
_________________ _________________
A17Shooter |
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