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Southern Grandmothers
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Are your grandmothers like this??
Yes, both are!
25%
 25%  [ 1 ]
Maternal Granny is!
50%
 50%  [ 2 ]
Paternal Granny is!
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Not my Grannies, NO Sir!
25%
 25%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 4

Author Message
A17Shooter
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 322
Location: California Foothills (Gold Country)

PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:08 pm    Post subject: Southern Grandmothers Reply with quote

SOUTHERN GRANDMA

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney almost died! The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair!”

***************************

Well, doggies! Life in the south is interesting.

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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2954
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Southern Grandmothers Reply with quote

Laughing Thats funny . I know a lady just like that. She's a riot Very Happy
Joe

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Cherokee_Jon
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Joined: Dec 16, 2008
Posts: 26
Location: PA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Southern Grandmothers Reply with quote

Sadly, grandparents on both sides are long gone. However, I knew them and both grandfather and grandmother on both sides came from hillbilly stock and would call as they saw it without any sugar coating.

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