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The Southern Woman
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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SwampFox
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Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 9:02 am    Post subject: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man ready
to jump.

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your wife and children.

"He replied,"I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee. "

He asked, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''

She replied, ''Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb Yankee."

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:21 pm    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

The South just has no compassion for the other people... ROFL

Sure glad I'm a Westerner...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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FALPhil
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PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 3:55 pm    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Hahahaha! Like Westerners do!

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Wed May 21, 2008 5:44 pm    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Very Happy We don't even like or trust our own... Very Happy

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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SwampFox
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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 4:56 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Folks from Arizona, Texas, etc are from the West. If you are from the USSRC well, you are just a different bread of cat.... Very Happy

Bushy, you are going to have to start being from MO. By the by, my 2great grandmother was Missoura Hart, so I am from Missoura .... Very Happy Very Happy
Ed

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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 6:39 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

In my most humble opinion, most people from Texas do not consider themselves southerners, or westerners. I also believe this to be so for Oklahomans, who are more like Texans than any other state. We have a different culture (formed by history) from the south and the west. Just like Louisiana (which is unique) is different from Texas and the south.

Cary

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 6:41 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

I'm from Oregon (the other state that kalif ruined) and just spent some time in the USSR of C...

Yes...Eventually I'll have to say "A'm from Missoura" as soon as I git a handle on this new language... Very Happy

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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chambered221
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
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Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 6:53 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

OntheLasGallinas wrote:
In my most humble opinion, most people from Texas do not consider themselves southerners, or westerners.

Cary

I thought they considered themselves Mexicans !!!!! ROFL

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Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 6:59 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Oh-oh...Backing out of the saloon slowly with guns drawn... Surprised

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Pumpkinslinger
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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 7:20 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Cary, if they were part of the Confederacy they're Southern! Wink

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anybody else, and there ain't nobody better than me!" Ma Kettle
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SwampFox
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Joined: Jul 15, 2005
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Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 8:25 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Spoken like a SCV member Mike. I belong to the Camp Lundy unit of the SCV. May the Bonnie Blue wave forever.
Ed

PS The Bonnie Blue, a single white star centered on a blue background, was the flag of the Republic of West Florida (1810) and predates and was the inspiration for the state flags of Texas and Cal. It was also the first confederate battle flag of the Florida units!

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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
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Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 8:59 am    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Bushy, you're one funny dude! You had me laughing. If you're going to become a member of the state of Missoura, you have to throw it into neutral once in a while, climb up on the porch, get a tall glass of iced tea or lemonade and relax!

Pumpkinslinger, Using Bushy's humor, I haven't cleared leather yet and don't intend to. Yes, Texas was part of the Confederacy; however, I was talking about culture only.

chambered221, Sadly, there is an areas in deep south Texas, along the Rio Grande, which that mentality does exist in a percentage of the population that equals the percentage of Democrats in that area. The rest of the state would just as soon give that area to Mexico, as it would save the taxpayers a bundle.

Cary

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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 5:09 pm    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Thats kinda funny, I'm Canadian and I've known who Robert E. Lee is since I was about 5 years old. Laughing

Dimitri

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Gigmaster
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Joined: Dec 24, 2007
Posts: 64
Location: Chatsworth, Ga.

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:00 pm    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Starting in 2008, car manufacturers have started putting 'Black Boxes' in cars, much like the ones in airplanes, designed to record the final 10 seconds of a crash. It was hoped the information would be useful in preventing future accidents. So far, at least up North, the final sounds on the recordings have been screams, screeching metal, expletives and so forth, as would be expected.

On cars from down South, however, they were puzzled to discover that the most common thing heard from the recordings there was "Hey, y'all!!! Watch this!!!!" Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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hunterjoe21
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Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 1486
Location: Miles City, Montana

PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:21 pm    Post subject: Re: The Southern Woman Reply with quote

Gigmaster wrote:
Starting in 2008, car manufacturers have started putting 'Black Boxes' in cars, much like the ones in airplanes, designed to record the final 10 seconds of a crash. It was hoped the information would be useful in preventing future accidents. So far, at least up North, the final sounds on the recordings have been screams, screeching metal, expletives and so forth, as would be expected.

On cars from down South, however, they were puzzled to discover that the most common thing heard from the recordings there was "Hey, y'all!!! Watch this!!!!" Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Not entirley true...

The most common thing heard was...

If that stupid ass can do that.......

Watch THIS..........

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