HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: tims
New Today: 1
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12624

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 232
BOT: 2
Total: 234
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Photo Albums
04: Your Account
05: Forums
06: Your Account
07: Your Account
08: Forums
09: Home
10: Your Account
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Photo Albums
15: Photo Albums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Home
21: Your Account
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Your Account
28: Your Account
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Home
32: News
33: Photo Albums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Home
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Your Account
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Your Account
53: Your Account
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Your Account
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Photo Albums
62: Your Account
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Your Account
66: Forums
67: Your Account
68: Your Account
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Your Account
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Your Account
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Home
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Photo Albums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Photo Albums
92: Your Account
93: Forums
94: Your Account
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Your Account
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Photo Albums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Home
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Photo Albums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Photo Albums
122: Your Account
123: News
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Your Account
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Forums
135: Your Account
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: News
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Forums
146: Your Account
147: Home
148: Your Account
149: Photo Albums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Your Account
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Photo Albums
157: Forums
158: Your Account
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Your Account
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Home
165: Home
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Your Account
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Forums
174: Home
175: Forums
176: Your Account
177: Photo Albums
178: Forums
179: Home
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Forums
183: Your Account
184: Forums
185: Forums
186: Your Account
187: Forums
188: Forums
189: News
190: Your Account
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Forums
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Photo Albums
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Forums
203: Forums
204: Photo Albums
205: Forums
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Forums
211: Forums
212: Your Account
213: Forums
214: Forums
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Forums
218: Forums
219: Forums
220: Your Account
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Forums
224: Forums
225: Forums
226: Forums
227: Forums
228: Forums
229: Forums
230: Photo Albums
231: Home
232: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Your Account

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2362
  · Views: 449573
  · Votes: 1310
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Deer roping
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
woods
Member
Member


Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 89

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:06 pm    Post subject: Deer roping Reply with quote

The Deer Wrangler



No author given for this but, true or not, it is funny. Lengthy but funny.



I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, Feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The First step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.


I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.


The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.


The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.


At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just Let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope back.



Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.


The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.


While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.


That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.


I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.


Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling "what happened"


I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did. Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.



EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider - a "city folk". I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the idiot that tried to rope the deer."

_________________
Guns only have 2 enemies, rust and politicians
Back to top
View user's profile
codybrown
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 10, 2007
Posts: 379
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 8:40 am    Post subject: Re: Deer roping Reply with quote

I've heard that before, but it always makes me laugh hysterically

_________________
I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly larger.
Back to top
View user's profile
7of7
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Jun 05, 2005
Posts: 2
Location: Seattle WA (Kinda)

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:29 am    Post subject: Re: Deer roping Reply with quote

I have never heard this story,... and I am laughing histerically!!!!!
Back to top
View user's profile
codybrown
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 10, 2007
Posts: 379
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 11:36 am    Post subject: Re: Deer roping Reply with quote

Welcome to the site 7of7

_________________
I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly larger.
Back to top
View user's profile
sniper
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Deer roping Reply with quote

Ah, Well...showin's better'n tellin'. Condolences, and sympathy for your wounds and abrasions!

Snx, snx, snort hee hee Smile Very Happy Laughing Haha ROFL

That's as good as the 2 AAA batteries in a taser! Cool
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.