About my father

tikkat3 · Super Member Joined: Jul 30, 2006 Posts: 800

Sad times Gelandangan.
Mine has just passed as well (July) just when I was getting to know and understand him.
Condolences to you and all your family.

gelandangan · Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 6:49 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

Thanks tikkat3

I am now sort of in a emotional suspension, I could function properly but my concentration is not great. I hope this will pass soon.

Morax · Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 7:07 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

gelandangan wrote:

Thanks tikkat3

I am now sort of in a emotional suspension, I could function properly but my concentration is not great. I hope this will pass soon.

i dont think it accually passes, but more like we learn to deal with it and work around it and go on with ourselves.. December 21st will mark the passing of my biological father 17 years ago, and i am still ticked off at him for it, mostly because he didnt stick around to meet the kids.. if i think of it all i am useless, if i dont try to think about it, i am a little better but still useless (sad attempt at humor there)...

Vince · Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:59 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

You are totally correct Jeff. It never leaves you, although my Dad only passed last June, so maybe I am like Gelan...still in a bit of limbo.

I don't think I ever really want it all to pass anyway. The memories, both good and bad, are what our life with a loved one is all about. Nothing wrong with missing them when they leave us...its a measure of how much they meant to us.

Cheers, Vince

gelandangan · Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:34 am Post subject: Re: About my father

True Vince,
I don't think I want to forget him either, but this emotional limbo is bad, I cannot trust myself to work on difficult project I am working on, drive long distances or make any coherent plan.

I think I should rephrase, I hope I could learn to deal with it fast.

You know, being here with you guys somewhat helps me to focus on little things and it does lessen the pain when I talk about things I love to do (like shooting and hunting). I find reloading helps too, but again I cannot trust the cartridge I made because I am not sure I made it right.. so I may have to pull them out again later on. My gun must be ultra clean by now.. I cleaned them again and again many times since last Saturday.

Morax · Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 2:32 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

this is all a normal thing in my eyes my friends... i went for a motorcycle ride that spanned two days, nowhere was the destination, just clear the ol' noggin. then when i came back i went for a day walk in the woods, and just talked to him... i do agree though the "autopilot" sucks...

no they never leave us, they are what helped make us who we are, and in that its good to find a tradition to pass along to the younger ones, your kids or not, you will find yourself telling someone "my dad showed" more now than ever before, and you sort of become a living memorial to thier examples, both good and bad sometimes but we hope for the best..

gel if there is anything i personally can do to help ya out, you better not hessitate to holler in my direction!

tracker · Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:10 am Post subject: Re: About my father

Morax wrote:

gel if there is anything i personally can do to help ya out, you better not hessitate to holler in my direction!

Same here.

Vince · Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:39 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

gelandangan wrote:

True Vince,
I don't think I want to forget him either, but this emotional limbo is bad, I cannot trust myself to work on difficult project I am working on, drive long distances or make any coherent plan.

I think I should rephrase, I hope I could learn to deal with it fast.

You know, being here with you guys somewhat helps me to focus on little things and it does lessen the pain when I talk about things I love to do (like shooting and hunting). I find reloading helps too, but again I cannot trust the cartridge I made because I am not sure I made it right.. so I may have to pull them out again later on. My gun must be ultra clean by now.. I cleaned them again and again many times since last Saturday.

You can trust yourself to do things mate...believe me, I know. Dad always said that he wanted me to play the bagpipes at his funeral....hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I did it. Crying or Very sad

It is the same with a project. Put your mind to it and do it....will probably be the best thing for you...will channel your energy in another direction...good therapy.

Cheers, Vince

gelandangan · Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:09 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

Vince wrote:

Dad always said that he wanted me to play the bagpipes at his funeral....hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I did it. Crying or Very sad

Cheers, Vince

I am never a public speaker, Dad wants me to read his eulogy. I did it yesterday.. the chapel (Dad is a Catholic) is full but I am glad I could not see anyone because of water in my eyes.

This Christmas will be hard to some of us, I know but life must go on.

Thanks guys for making it a bit easier.

1895ss · Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:22 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

gelandangan
It has been 9 years since my Dad passed away and 4 years since my Mom passed away, and there are not many days in a year that I don't think of one or both of them. There have been times when I thought, how would Dad have done this or that or what would they think of this or that. They will live in my heart forever and your father in yours.

sniper · Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:36 am Post subject: Re: About my father

Gelan; Words are inadequate at times like this, but that's all we have. Condolences to you and your family.

Give it a bit of time, and life will once again be back on an even keel.

The father of the American space program, Werner Von Braun, once remarked: "...just as matter cannot be created or destroyed, what we are, our essence, the personality... does not disappear at death, but continues on in some other sphere."

I believe he was correct. Death is not final. You are your father's legacy. Make him proud.

Vince · Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:59 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

How are you feeling now Gelan?

Christmas was a bit of a hard time for us...Mum was a bit teary because Dad wasn't there. I was more than a little melancholy myself...but then I thought; "Dad might not be here physically, but he is no doubt watching over us and he is definitely here in our hearts".

Had a bit of a talk to Mum and everything was "honky dory". They say that the first Christmas is the hardest, so hopefully the worst is now behind us.

Hang in there mate...as Sniper says: "Death is not final. You are your father's legacy. Make him proud." I couldn't say it any better mate.

Cheers, Vince

gelandangan · Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

Vince wrote:

How are you feeling now Gelan?
Cheers, Vince

Feel a bit ok now Vince..

Spend Christmas at Mom's and it is a bit eerie because it is quiet and there is only the sound of my 3 years old nephew running around and the 6 months old niece crying once in a while. Everybody else (Mom, Sis, Myself + missus + 2 daughters, Brothers + their wives) were sort of quiet.. dont know what to say to each other..

Then on the 26th I went to Cobar for 5 days of hunting.. Can't say I enjoy it fully for the first 2 days, then after a good chase, I found out that I did not think of the old man for a while.
I found that Hunting is also a good therapy..

Oh well.. life goes on

ElyBoy · Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:20 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

After my Dad Passed away gelandangan, I found that being out in the woods was therapy for me.
My Prayers for Your Father, Mom, and You, will be said at Mass this week.

God Bless

Eric

gelandangan · Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:36 pm Post subject: Re: About my father

Yesterday, 14th of December 2008 is exactly 1 year since dad passed away.
The hurt is a lot less now, still miss him though..

Life is short, play hard and tell your family that you love them.