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AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13416
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 4:27 am    Post subject: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to. Confused

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 7:00 am    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

Hummmm....Something like "I'm lost...I've gone to find myself...If I should return before I get back...Please have me wait..."

Now where was I...??

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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SwampFox
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Joined: Jul 15, 2005
Posts: 1040
Location: Destin, Florida

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 8:18 am    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

You are in MO.... I think, but then again, I really do not know, cause I can't remember, at least I don't think I can remember,...... uh, what was that we were talking about, anyway.

Where are my glasses? Oh, here on my face....... Zzzzzzzz nap time. Sad
Ed

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The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill
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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 8:56 am    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

I was going to give myself a call to find out where the heck I am, but figured I wouldn't answer anyway and then realized that I can't find my cell phone on top of it.

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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keetoowah
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 10:58 am    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

if you found it what would you call yourself??? hmmmm

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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 11:01 am    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

Yeah, but then I probably wouldn't answer anyway, cuz I know what I'd want to talk about and I don't really want to talk about that.

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"If God hadn't meant for man to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat!"
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 1:14 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

I think I need an asprin...Make that two...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 1:17 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

Very Happy good luck finding 'em Very Happy

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 1:30 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

Got'em right here...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 4:08 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

I called my cell phone looking for my cell phone the other day but dang it the line was busy. Guess I should use the house phone next time.

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Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 6:38 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

huh............ ! Shocked Shocked Confused Laughing

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A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 6:41 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

It's a california thing. 1895zz...A california thing...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 6:45 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

Oh........ OK????????? Confused

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A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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rdncktink
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2007 7:37 pm    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
It's a california thing. 1895zz...A california thing...
That I will say is a California thing or more of a blond thing I think. Which well since I'm not blond any more (lost the bottle) guess it's the California thing. Dang what was I going to say. ........... Oh ya it was bad day and well it's a California thing. I live to close to so-cal I guess.

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Arron
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Joined: Nov 20, 2006
Posts: 351
Location: Cen.Iowa, by way of SWIowa

PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:19 am    Post subject: Re: AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS Reply with quote

I work alone at work most of the time so I have time to "ponder" things and I have come up the facts of my life.
I have conversations with myself because I am the only one who cares about what I am talking and I am the only one who even knows what it was I was talking about in the first place and I am the only one who can give me anything remotely resembling a correct answer. So why in the world would I want to talk to anyone ELSE???
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