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The One Armed Pro!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2612
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:03 pm    Post subject: The One Armed Pro! Reply with quote

The One Armed Pro
A professional hunter's worst nightmare came true.
His client was a bumbler who couldnt hit the inside of a barn with a machine gun, and when he did finally manage to connect on a game animal he gutshot an enormous lion. True to his profession, the p.h. went into the thick stuff. As lions will often do when made uncomfortable, the King of the Beasts charged and the pro knew the ride had ended when he pulled the trigger and heard the dreaded click of a broken firing pin.
As the p.h. was being horribly mauled the client remembered an important meeting that he had to attend, but the pro's devoted tracker came to the rescue. Unfortunately, before the brave tracker could dispatch the lion, using only a skinning knife, the beast chewed off the hunters arm.
Now a one armed p.h. isnt likely to get a lot of work, and before long he fell into a deep depression over his feelings of uselessness.
One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, dancing and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all.
He started thinking, "what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life." He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for giving him inspiration and saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and kicking up his heels again.
The hunter asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
And the man answered, "I'm NOT happy .... My arse itches."


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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fireball 3
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Joined: Jan 28, 2007
Posts: 393
Location: northern calif

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:17 pm    Post subject: Re: The One Armed Pro! Reply with quote

Haha Haha now that's funny,I don't care who ya are. 1895 That sure reminds me of someone I know. Thanks for the funny. Makes my day Worship

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if at first you don't succeed, take a nap, and try
tomorrow. can't hurt!
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: The One Armed Pro! Reply with quote

Good one 1895ss.....I can picture it all now.

Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6397
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 1:40 am    Post subject: Re: The One Armed Pro! Reply with quote

BWAHahahahahaha!!!!

OHHHH... BROTHER!!!!

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A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:41 am    Post subject: Re: The One Armed Pro! Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha that was great 1895, laughed until me arse itched...

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