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The stages of life
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1732
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:15 pm    Post subject: The stages of life Reply with quote

The Stages Of Life Explained. This Is So Accurate It Hurts.





On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed ......

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."




The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.


On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."


So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13471
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 5:23 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

This is so true and hits the nail squarely on the head. Thanks mate.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7355
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 9:04 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

we come into the world bald babbling and dribbling from both ends....if we live long enough we will end up the same way again....

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10480
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:30 am    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

Naw..I'll at least have a full head of hair. Gray it may be, but....

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7453
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 9:34 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
I'll at least have a full head of hair.....

From the chin up!

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:31 am    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

Pretty much...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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dhc4ever
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2333
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 1:49 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

You are in your 70's and you have that much brown hair?
I havent hit 60 yet and I'm completely white, head and beard.
Maybe that stare you've got scared them off

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:58 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

My hair use to be dark red. I'm a blonde now.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1732
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:17 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
My hair use to be dark red. I'm a blonde now.

That explains a lot ( he he )

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10480
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:10 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

Hell...I married a blonde. Figured that if I can't beat-em I might as well join-em.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1732
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:25 pm    Post subject: Re: The stages of life Reply with quote

that's right bushy my missus was blond also

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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