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Joining the new congregation
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13124
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 6:30 pm    Post subject: Joining the new congregation Reply with quote

Three couples decided to join an exclusive church. The first couple was married for 10 years, the second was married for five years, and the third were newlyweds.

The three couples came before the priest and asked to join the congregation. The priest said: "As you know this is a very exclusive church, and we can't let just anyone join. In order to become a member you must pass a test. To join you must forego sex for a month." The couples agreed to the terms and went their separate ways.

After a month, the couples returned to the church and stood before the priest. "How did you do on your trial?" he asked the couple married for 10 years.

"We did fine," they replied. "We've been together so long that not having sex was easy."

"Welcome to the congregation," the priest said. He then turns to the couple married for five years and asks them: "How did you do on your trial?"

"We did okay," they replied. "There were a couple of tough spots here and there, but we held out and refrained from sex."

"Welcome to the congregation," the priest said. He then turned to the newlyweds and asked "How did you do on your trial?"

The couple is sheepishly silent for a minute and then finally the husband speaks up. "Father, it was hard but we did really well. Right up to the last day. My wife was handling some tomatoes and dropped one. When she bent down to pick it. I couldn’t resist. I had to have her straight away. We had the most passionate love we ever had in our relationship, trying things we had never done before. It was amazing, but sorry father, we failed."

"That's disgusting!" The priest exclaimed. "Why would you do that? You have to leave and never come back!"

The wife finally spoke up and said: "That's exactly what they said to us at the supermarket."

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1558
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation Reply with quote

ROFL Haha

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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7012
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 11:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation Reply with quote

wtf wtf Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
Id be finding a new church myself Sad

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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7126
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation Reply with quote

come-on guys? haven't you heard that one before? Maybe it took awhile to get down-under.

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1558
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 2:43 pm    Post subject: Re: Joining the new congregation Reply with quote

slimjim wrote:
come-on guys? haven't you heard that one before? Maybe it took awhile to get down-under.



Could be but it is funny anyhow

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