HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: kurtsteinke
New Today: 1
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12413

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 117
BOT: 3
Total: 120
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: News
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Home
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Photo Albums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Photo Albums
24: Home
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Photo Albums
32: Photo Albums
33: Forums
34: Photo Albums
35: Photo Albums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Photo Albums
40: Photo Albums
41: News
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Photo Albums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Your Account
55: Photo Albums
56: Photo Albums
57: Forums
58: Your Account
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Your Account
66: Photo Albums
67: Photo Albums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Your Account
89: Home
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Photo Albums
94: Forums
95: Forums
96: Photo Albums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Photo Albums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Photo Albums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Statistics
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Your Account
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 300
 Pictures: 2352
  · Views: 271256
  · Votes: 1288
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6871
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:41 pm    Post subject: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Reasons Not To Match Wits With Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'





A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'


O ne day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


Finally,...



T he children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples...'

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12965
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2016 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Never underestimate the guile of a child. Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6959
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 1:56 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Thanks for sharing this with us, Elvis! It has some good ones!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2233
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:36 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Good stuff
Thanks

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5677
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:41 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4761
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:04 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

El Vee! nice AM chuckle mate!
Back to top
View user's profile
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2233
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:30 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Stovey,
Put your glasses on and go back an read who the guilty party is.
Subtle hint , he's on the other side of the ditch........

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4761
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:34 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

OK- what'd I miss.....
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6871
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:17 pm    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

nufink stovie dhc must be mixing his mushrooms......lol

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4761
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:30 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

!!!! lol
Back to top
View user's profile
Natdogg
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Feb 19, 2017
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 10:31 pm    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6871
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:14 am    Post subject: Re: unashamably pinched from elsewhere as too good not to share Reply with quote

wachout guys..... that newbie is my other child Nathan Gorseprickle..... with a bit of luck soon you will be seeing some photos to make us all turn green with envy.... my Bro was cutting up deer yesterday and another stag walked over driveway!!!! the young fella off to stay with relos for a taste of back country living.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.