one for the L.E.O.s

Elvis · Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 2:16 am Post subject: one for the L.E.O.s

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.

The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.

Lawrence explained that, as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well, there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around..." he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
"I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior Constable Jackie approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' Senior Constable Jackie told the magistrate.
'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin...'

Constable Jackie went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ....
"I said: 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?
"Lawrence froze. He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked me straight in the eye and said: ....
'A pumpkin? Shit - is it midnight already'?"

The court (and the magistrate) could not contain their mirth.

The Geelong Post wrote an article describing this as
'The best come-back line ever.'

dhc4ever · Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2016 5:31 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s

Classic.

Vince · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:09 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s

RePete · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:38 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s

lesterg3 · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 9:11 am Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s

gelandangan · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:47 pm Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s

PaulS · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2016 5:26 pm Post subject: Re: one for the L.E.O.s

Never eating another pumpkin, in any way, EVER! Yuck

NEVER!