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A helping hand.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5634
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 4:20 pm    Post subject: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Saw this on the other forum.. too good not to share Very Happy


==========================================
As I was walking home this week worrying about all the crap going on in Washington, Ottawa, London, Moscow, Ukraine etc. and at how my life was falling apart, I saw a yard sign that said:

NEED HELP?
CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787


Out of curiosity and desperation, I did.

A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1449
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 6:02 pm    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Hee Haw

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12773
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 8:43 pm    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3261
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 6:20 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

That's pronounced 'Hey-Suz' ya know....




Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10180
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 7:40 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Hey-Suz'??

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tikkat3
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Joined: Jul 30, 2006
Posts: 675

PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 7:07 pm    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

"Jesus"
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3261
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 6:40 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

What?

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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lesterg3
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Joined: Nov 30, 2008
Posts: 1232
Location: Dixie

PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:54 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. "--Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. -- Thomas Jefferson

"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed - unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."--James Madison

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Vietnam War Vet 68-69
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Elvis
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Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6713
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 12:10 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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gelandangan
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Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5634
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 3:17 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Hey-Suz Kwaist!!

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3261
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:06 am    Post subject: Re: A helping hand. Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Goot won Gelan!!



Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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