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Wrong Fella
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7303
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2016 11:24 pm    Post subject: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling,

'You Sign! You sign!'

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.

Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese manstarts to yell louder,

'You Sign! You sign!'

Nelson says to him, 'Look, you've obviously got the wrong man', and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again.

When he opens it, the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads.

He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling,

'You sign! You sign!'

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the littleChinese man back, shouting:

'Look, go away! You've got the wrong man. I don't want them!' Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, hehears a knock on the door again.

On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,

'You sign! You sign!'

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little Man by his shirt front and yells at him:

'Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrongname! Who do you want to give these to?'

The little Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:


(It's a beauty)



(Wait for it)






(Get your best Chinese accent ready)


you mean you NOT
Nissan main dealer?????

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2325
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 2:30 am    Post subject: Re: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

Vince will be proud of that effort Elvis.
Pity I can't say the same....
Its Friday, god I need a beer, now.......

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 7:42 am    Post subject: Re: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

I got up for this?? I'm going back to bed........

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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tikkat3
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 30, 2006
Posts: 707

PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

Nice try but not quite there, yet
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5817
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2016 3:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

PFFFFTT!!

Face palm..

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A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2325
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2016 12:00 am    Post subject: Re: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

Tough crowd eh Elvis.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13417
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2016 11:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Wrong Fella Reply with quote

Not bad Elvis...not too bad at all mate.

Reminds me of the time a little Chinese lady goes into the bank to exchange some Yuan to English Pounds.

She gives the Teller 500 Yuan and receives 100 Pounds Sterling in exchange.

The little Chinese lady goes in the following week and again gives the Teller 500 Yuan and receives 85 Pounds Sterling in exchange.

She looks at the money and then says to the Teller "Why only 85? Last week you give me 100."

The Teller looks at her and says "Fluctuations."

The little Chinese lady looked back at the Teller in disgust Surprised Mad and says, "Well fluct-u-english too. I go somewhere else next time." Jaw Drop Jaw Drop Jaw Drop

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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