Marriage License Office Clerk

Vince · Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:19 am Post subject: Marriage License Office Clerk

"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

"Names?", said the clerk.
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers?? You can't get married."
"Why not?? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've claim they'd been denied equal protection under law.
If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have.
But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says?? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Anderson."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself?? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together.
Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"

...Don't laugh, it’s just a matter of time.

Bushmaster · Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 8:13 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...

Tremblay · Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:41 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

Ain't it the truth!

gelandangan · Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 2:21 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

Bushmaster wrote:

Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...

I thought they already did that in Californi-cating-a..

Elvis

sad but true....

lesterg3 · Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 1:43 am Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

but

PaulS · Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 6:16 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

Those folks at the license bureau are kings of their domains. They aren't nearly that easy.

multigauge · Rookie Member Joined: Apr 16, 2008 Posts: 24

The lawyers haven't figured this one out yet. An elderly widower on his deathbed marries his grandson. His entire estate and fortune passes to his grandson tax-free per the IRS code since he is now a spouse. There is now no inheritance tax for that "family."

Bushmaster · Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:05 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

Hummm...Sneaky idea.

dhc4ever · Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 8:29 pm Post subject: Re: Marriage License Office Clerk

I like it.
This is what will be the deathnell of the gay marriage idea, thieves in irs wont like a loop hole like that.

PaulS

I like the concept... not sure about the execution though.

Elvis

multigauge wrote:

The lawyers haven't figured this one out yet. An elderly widower on his deathbed marries his grandson. His entire estate and fortune passes to his grandson tax-free per the IRS code since he is now a spouse. There is now no inheritance tax for that "family."

I guess

he will be entitled to a widowers benefit too Very Happy

44marty

Bushmaster wrote:

Yup...And some woman or man will be wanting to marry their dog...

Might have an issue with the dog's age (dogs over 18 yrs old are hard to come by - and way too ornery and ugly to marry)

PaulS

I like dogs a lot more than some people.. I never wanted to marry one though. They won't shave their legs or underarms. Might as well marry a French farmers daughter.

wait... I don't think that came out quite the way I was thinking it. Wink

dhc4ever

Oh yes, it did....