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These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13252
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:31 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
It's all Vince's fault...

Woo hoo...I have managed to yet again achieved. I must admit, I had to put a lot of thought into a couple of these, although others were pretty obvious.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7110
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:47 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Elvis wrote:
really????????
decimal system is all interlinked
a litre of water fits in a 10 cm x 10cm x10cm container and weighs 1 kilogram
ton of water is a cubic meter
and a hectacre/Ha is 100mtrs x 100 mtrs
I sow fertilizer at rate of so many kgs per ha
measures in a 10cm cube on set of scales to give me reading of density in kgs per litre...urea typically .750 and superphosphate 1.2

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3432
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:08 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

In my short life I have professionally employed as a mechanic, an occupational safety instructor, Certified heavy equipment safety trainer, and a minister. For hobbies I have been a programmer (still doing a little of that), an inventor (got a few things that I invented to make automatic transmissions work better for high performance), a gunsmith (not real in depth but I have made a few working guns that were accurate), an artist (I even sold a few water colors to the Seattle Times), an architect (designed two homes and two garages and built three of the four), a metal smith (casting, forging, and machining), written a book that will be published in the near future, and I am learning to work with wood (besides making sawdust for the garden), made and installed some electronic security systems for myself, built a couple of electronic ignitions back before they were popular, and I am learning aeronautical engineering so I can build an ultralight plane and of course my shooting, hunting and reloading.

My education has been formal and informal and I am still learning at 64 so I can stay productive through the next 936 years or so. (that will make me 1000 years old)

If I always have folks of your caliber (all you good folks here) I will be blessed far beyond most.

I guess I am just saying that you folks here are an important part of my life and I value that.

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Paul
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Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7110
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:39 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

good on ya young fella.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 7:55 am    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Ya have one too many digits on your proposed age.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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inthedark
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Joined: Jan 31, 2011
Posts: 748
Location: Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 12:16 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

There you go! I sure enjoy getting to know the company that I am keeping. Was it an accident that I found my way here to all you guys and Gals ... I think not. It would be interesting for you to outlive Noah.

_________________
Chimo
Ron

War is sweet to those who have no experience of it, but the experienced man trembles exceedingly at heart on its approach - Pindar 518-438BC
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5770
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 3:30 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Noah?
Bushy wrestle T-rex for breakfast!

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 6:27 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

An engineer goes to the Nuclear Regulatory Council and says, "I want to build a heavy-water-moderated natural enrichment nuclear reactor."

The NRC says "Sorry; no CANDU."

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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radar
Super Member
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1094
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 1:45 am    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Ah Grasshopper - octals means you count in groups of 8 rather than our usual decimal or 10 count system - see?
And you thought all cops were dumb!

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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Aloysius
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Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2088
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 3:44 am    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

radar wrote:
Ah Grasshopper - octals means you count in groups of 8 rather than our usual decimal or 10 count system - see?
And you thought all cops were dumb!

this joke appeared on Apr. 22, so you have to admit it took you some time...

Smile


I usually ask the cops overhere to bend their head a little to the left or the right, so it can flow together...

and now I think I have to run... Vince, still have some place left?
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5770
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 3:17 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Laughing

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10392
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 6:25 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Ooops...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2282
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2015 11:44 pm    Post subject: Re: These Jokes Are For Intellectuals Only. Reply with quote

Shazam.....

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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