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Why did the chicken cross the road ??
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 6:30 pm    Post subject: Why did the chicken cross the road ?? Reply with quote

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pierre de Fermat: I just don't have room here to give the full explanation.

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Social Worker: It crossed the road to be able to understand both sides.

An actuary: It looked in the file and that's what it did last year.

A consultant: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Our consulting firm, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), we helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive here was.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Haha

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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DallanC
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Joined: Jan 18, 2005
Posts: 3191
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 6:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road ?? Reply with quote

LOL, thats pretty good.


-DallanC
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515034s10ring
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 10:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road ?? Reply with quote

Good one Very Happy

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Why no......I'm really not an outdoorsmsn at all. But i did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13521
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road ?? Reply with quote

Thanks Dimitri, I like it....especially the last one.

Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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sniper
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Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:37 am    Post subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road ?? Reply with quote

ROFL
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