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CAR AIR CONDITIONERS
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14093
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:49 am    Post subject: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Here's a little fact for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends.

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.


The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.


The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --

Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

*************************************************************

Control yourself !

This is what happens when you are retired and have too much time on your hands ! Cool Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 678
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 8:00 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

.... Cheers .....

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10733
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 10:00 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

I've had enough of this crap!! Would someone PLEASE give Vince the trophy and send him home?

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 2:12 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

It won't shut him up tho.....


Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2512
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 2:50 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

I'm sure Elvis or I could fill in for a while, if Vince gets the perpetual trophy we'd take it as a challenge to out do him.

Still want him to go Bushy?

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10733
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 9:09 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Sure...Give him the darn trophy...Then send him back home.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14093
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Challenge accepted...the trophy is up for grabs guys.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10733
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 9:29 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Oh. There he is. Home yet?

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14093
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 9:48 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Yup...home mate. Sitting here watching Star Trek and awaiting a challenge to the crown...also planning a few days away for a hunt just before Easter.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2512
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:39 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Thought for the day!
"It's only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.”

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2512
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:44 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Tjat last one might have been a bit close to the bone, heres another....

One day while he was at the track playing theponies Mitch noticed a priest who stepped onto the track and blessed theforehead of one horse lining up for the 4th race.

Lo andbehold, that horse--a very long shot--won the race.

Before thenext race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest as theold priest stepped onto the track again. Sure enough, as the 5th race horsescame to the starting gate, the priest made a blessing on the forehead of onehorse.

Mitch madea beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, eventhough it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitchcollected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest wouldbless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch betbig on it, and it won. Mitch was elated. As the races continued, the priestkept blessing long-shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By and by,Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildestdreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew allhis savings, and waited for the priest's blessing to tell him which horse tobet on.

True to hishabit, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed theforehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch alsoobserved the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

Mitch knewhe had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He thenwatched, dumbfounded, as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state ofshock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confrontingthe old priest he demanded, “Father! What happened? All day long, you blessedhorses and they all won. Then, in the last race, the horse you blessed lost bya Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you, I've lost every cent of my savings--all ofit!”

The priestnodded wisely and, with sympathy, said, “Son, that's the problem with youProtestants. You can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and lastrites.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14093
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 7:34 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14093
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 7:42 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Good effort Pete...

I'll see your attempt and raise ya one...

At the end of the tax year, the Australian Taxation Office sent
an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the agent was checking the books,
he turned to the executive of the hospital and said
"I notice you buy a lot of bandages.
What do you do with the end of the roll when
there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the executive.
"We save them up and send them back to the bandage
company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed
that his unusual question had a practical answer.
But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases?
What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the executive, realizing that the
inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.
"We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and
every so often they send us a free bag of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he
could fluster the know-it-all executive. "Well,
What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the executive.
"What we do is save all the little foreskins and
send them to the tax office,
and about once a year they send us a complete d1ck."

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10733
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 8:44 am    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Oh the Hell with it. I'm going home.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6005
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2014 2:21 pm    Post subject: Re: CAR AIR CONDITIONERS Reply with quote

Ho.. boyo.. Help

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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