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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15704 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 3:34 am Post subject: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Condom factory burns down in New Zealand :
Helen Clarke, ex-Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4 a.m by the telephone.
"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy !! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."
PM: "Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. W'ill be ruined."
Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain ?"
PM: "No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.
Hilth Munister: "What about Australia ?"
PM: "I'll call Tony Abbott. Tell him we need one million condoms, ten enches long and eight enches thuck. That way they'll continue to respect the 'All Blacks'."
Three days later, a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.
She finds one million condoms - 10 enches long, 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.
"MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM"
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6396 Location: Sydney Australia
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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pete4d Super Member
Joined: Nov 27, 2011 Posts: 957 Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana
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radar Super Member
Joined: Oct 01, 2008 Posts: 1109 Location: North Island New Zealand
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 5:46 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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The REAL story was actually the other way round! Vince just didn't want to be shown up .....
_________________ People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
George Orwell |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6396 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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LOL Not so..
Here in Oz, the guberment is payin out $$$ for us to procreate..
They would look at condom shortages as a boon.
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9239 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:12 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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ho hummmm.
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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dhc4ever Super Member
Joined: May 26, 2011 Posts: 2944 Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:48 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Shouldn't tat have been size small?
_________________ Pete
Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics.............. |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6396 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:22 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Also I thought them kiwis would be happier, I'm sure they could do with them extra sheep for export..
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Bushmaster Super Member
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 11390 Location: Ava, Missouri
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 11:01 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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And the Aussie verses NZ wars begin...Again.
_________________ I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...
DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote... |
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gelandangan Super Member
Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 6396 Location: Sydney Australia
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Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:27 am Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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Nah Bushy, we love your Long Clouds cuzins.
Its ANZAC and all... without them we would be AAC.. such an ugly name.
Besides knowing how to make sheep happy.. they are also good mates.
_________________ A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Do - Not try!
gelandangan.weebly.com/ |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9239 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:23 am Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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contrary to common belief it wasnt the french that invented the condom it was in fact the Australians...the french just worked out to take away the rest of the sheep!!!
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15704 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 8:13 am Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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TRBLSHTR Super Member
Joined: Mar 23, 2007 Posts: 1071 Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)
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Tremblay Super Member
Joined: Oct 08, 2007 Posts: 2645 Location: Malta, Montana
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Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:38 pm Post subject: Re: Condom factory burns down in New Zealand |
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personal I do not shower with a raincoat on ....!!!!!!
_________________ Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain
Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain |
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