British humour

English Mike · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:14 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

An Aussie and his dog are shipwrecked on a deserted island. After a few days he decides to reconnoitre the island. He discovers that the only other inhabitants are sheep.

Weeks later he can't get those sheep out of his mind, and soon he's sneaking up on the flock. Just as he is about to pounce on a really cute one, the dog grabs his leg and won't let go. He snaps to, and thanks the dog for keeping him from making a fool of himself. This same scene happens every night for a month and the guy is really getting pissed at the dog.

Suddenly one day, the man spies a liferaft bobbing in the surf. In the raft is a beautiful young girl, half dead but alive. He takes her back to his hut revives her and nurses her to health. After a few days the girl is feeling fine, and that evening a rush of gratitude sweeps over her....

She confronts the man: 'I owe you my life. I'm yours forever. I'll do anything you want'

'Anything?'

'Anything!!'

'OK, hold that dog for ten minutes!!!'

English Mike · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:15 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Have you heard about the latest Welsh sex aid?

Velcro gloves.

Bushmaster · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 5:41 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Mikes on a roll today....

RePete · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 8:32 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

tikkat3 wrote:

Or the cliff........
Who highjacked this thread? Bushy, RePete.
Get back on topic and start bashing [laughing with] the poms.
Or
I'd like to hear a bit of Oz bashing, hey Skip
Kanga or convict

Watchit Mate. I didn't hijack squat, just responded to Bushy. Mad

dhc4ever · Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 1:10 am Post subject: Re: British humour

You know Mike, all you need now is some American jokes and you've slandered the lot of us in one thread Wink

Standby for the no doubt interesting and intense replies.........

Vince · Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 3:59 am Post subject: Re: British humour

RePete wrote:

Watchit Mate. I didn't hijack squat, just responded to Bushy. Mad

dhc4ever wrote:

You know Mike, all you need now is some American jokes and you've slandered the lot of us in one thread Wink

Standby for the no doubt interesting and intense relies.........

Cheers, Vince

Bushmaster · Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:58 am Post subject: Re: British humour

Naww...Why bother. We did enough to the Poms in the 1770s.... Laughing

tikkat3 · Super Member Joined: Jul 30, 2006 Posts: 800

Thats when our problems started Bushy

Bushmaster · Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 5:09 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

I actually thought that solved a few. But we seem to have been adding "baggage" ever sense. To culminate with obama I hope.

Vince · Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:42 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Bushmaster wrote:

I actually thought that solved a few. But we seem to have been adding "baggage" ever sense. To culminate with obama I hope.

Yeah, right...good luck mate...I think you are gonna need it.

Cheers, Vince

English Mike · Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 11:51 am Post subject: Re: British humour

Bushmaster wrote:

Naww...Why bother. We did enough to the Poms in the 1770s.... Laughing

Ah but you're forgetting something: back in the 1770's you still WERE poms. Very Happy

Bushmaster · Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 12:38 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Were the Scots poms?

Elvis · Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:16 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

NEVER......If you havent already seen it watch "braveheart" A question like that would have ol Willy rolling in his various resting places!!!

English Mike · Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:16 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Bushmaster wrote:

Were the Scots poms?

Better ask an Aussie. Very Happy

Vince · Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: British humour

Och....NEVER. Callin' a scot an' sassenach is fightin' words !

Rinneadh formhór mór na "inimirceach éigeantach" chun an Mhór Theas Talún (Terra Australisstar) maité na hÉireann.

Cheers, Vince