An Aussie and his dog are shipwrecked on a deserted island. After a few days he decides to reconnoitre the island. He discovers that the only other inhabitants are sheep.

Weeks later he can't get those sheep out of his mind, and soon he's sneaking up on the flock. Just as he is about to pounce on a really cute one, the dog grabs his leg and won't let go. He snaps to, and thanks the dog for keeping him from making a fool of himself. This same scene happens every night for a month and the guy is really getting pissed at the dog.

Suddenly one day, the man spies a liferaft bobbing in the surf. In the raft is a beautiful young girl, half dead but alive. He takes her back to his hut revives her and nurses her to health. After a few days the girl is feeling fine, and that evening a rush of gratitude sweeps over her....

She confronts the man: 'I owe you my life. I'm yours forever. I'll do anything you want'

'Anything?'

'Anything!!'

'OK, hold that dog for ten minutes!!!'

Have you heard about the latest Welsh sex aid?

Velcro gloves.

Mikes on a roll today....

tikkat3 wrote:

Or the cliff........ Who highjacked this thread? Bushy, RePete. Get back on topic and start bashing [laughing with] the poms. Or I'd like to hear a bit of Oz bashing, hey Skip Kanga or convict

Watchit Mate. I didn't hijack squat, just responded to Bushy.

You know Mike, all you need now is some American jokes and you've slandered the lot of us in one thread

Standby for the no doubt interesting and intense replies.........

RePete wrote:

Watchit Mate. I didn't hijack squat, just responded to Bushy.

dhc4ever wrote:

You know Mike, all you need now is some American jokes and you've slandered the lot of us in one thread Standby for the no doubt interesting and intense relies.........

Cheers, Vince

Naww...Why bother. We did enough to the Poms in the 1770s....

Thats when our problems started Bushy

I actually thought that solved a few. But we seem to have been adding "baggage" ever sense. To culminate with obama I hope.

Bushmaster wrote:

I actually thought that solved a few. But we seem to have been adding "baggage" ever sense. To culminate with obama I hope.

Yeah, right...good luck mate...I think you are gonna need it.

Cheers, Vince

Bushmaster wrote:

Naww...Why bother. We did enough to the Poms in the 1770s....

Ah but you're forgetting something: back in the 1770's you still WERE poms.

Were the Scots poms?

NEVER......If you havent already seen it watch "braveheart" A question like that would have ol Willy rolling in his various resting places!!!

Bushmaster wrote:

Were the Scots poms?

Better ask an Aussie.

Och....NEVER. Callin' a scot an' sassenach is fightin' words !

Rinneadh formhór mór na "inimirceach éigeantach" chun an Mhór Theas Talún (Terra Australisstar) maité na hÉireann.

Cheers, Vince