HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: RichardZ
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 13126

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 88
BOT: 1
Total: 89
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Your Account
03: Home
04: Forums
05: Home
06: Your Account
07: Home
08: Forums
09: Home
10: Forums
11: Home
12: Home
13: Your Account
14: Photo Albums
15: Home
16: Home
17: Forums
18: Home
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Home
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Home
27: Forums
28: News
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Home
32: Forums
33: Home
34: Home
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Photo Albums
38: Forums
39: Photo Albums
40: Home
41: Photo Albums
42: Home
43: Home
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Home
47: Your Account
48: Home
49: Home
50: Forums
51: Home
52: Photo Albums
53: Home
54: Home
55: Forums
56: Home
57: Treasury
58: Home
59: Your Account
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Home
63: Photo Albums
64: Photo Albums
65: Home
66: Home
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Home
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Home
74: Forums
75: Home
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Home
79: Home
80: Home
81: Photo Albums
82: Home
83: Home
84: Home
85: Home
86: Home
87: Forums
88: Home
  BOT:
01: Home

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 308
 Pictures: 2451
  · Views: 820725
  · Votes: 1316
  · Comments: 86
 

I think I've reached an all time high this time
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Go to page 1, 2  Next
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:16 pm    Post subject: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

REALLY B A A A D

This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus.

The driver sets off; the woman falls from the bus and is killed.

At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder, and seeing as it's Texas, he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well," says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"

"Yes," answers the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.

When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch, sending hundreds of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive.

The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks.

"I suppose so," says the executioner, "That's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Yet again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed.

The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.

The executioner is determined to do it right this time, so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas . The bloke is again sat in the chair.

"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.

The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.

The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.

Millions of volts course through the chair, blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears, the man is still sat there smiling in the chair.

The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

The bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them.

He is sent to the electric chair again.

The executioner rigs up all the world's electricity to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Well," says the man, "can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"

The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included.

The executioner pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up," says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?" He strokes his chin. "Its something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asks.









"Nah," says the bloke, "I'm just a bad conductor!"

I'm hidin'.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 9239
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:27 pm    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

too much...
Im not even going to try to compete.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:30 pm    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

GROAAAANNN!!

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website
dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2944
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:22 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Lame Help Whip Bang Head Faint Cyclops Cyclops

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
Back to top
View user's profile
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:02 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Vince, no matter how high you are, Suz is going to get you with her stout switches after that joke. Bonk Whip Toilet Claw Smash Smash Faint Whip

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:34 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Yeah...I know OV1...but I can try, and I'm climbin' .

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11389
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:18 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Me thinks the ladder is upside down...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Aloysius
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 03, 2009
Posts: 2438
Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:56 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Me thinks the ladder is upside down...

You're sure it's not an incoming train?
Back to top
View user's profile
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:15 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Aloysius wrote:
You're sure it's not an incoming train?
Haha Haha Haha Haha

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11389
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:23 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Could be...Could be.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:29 pm    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
"Nah," says the bloke, "I'm just a bad conductor!"

I'm hidin'.

Cheers, Vince

YOU BETTER!!! Mad

Just when I thought they couldnt get any worse!

Laughing
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15701
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:41 pm    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Me thinks the ladder is upside down...

I hope not...I am hoping it is disappearing waaaay into the "blue" in the hope that it will keep me safe.

Aloys wrote:
You're sure it's not an incoming train?

Oh damn...and here I am a long way up, or along...ya got me confusalated now. Confused BUGGER Shocked Still and all...what is worse...an oncoming train, or Suz with a stout switch??? At least the train will only hit once. Very Happy Very Happy Razz

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
chambered221
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 17, 2007
Posts: 3455
Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:05 pm    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

I'll bet ya Suzzy be the engineer on that there train !!!

C'mon Suzzy blow off some of that hot air and let them know you a coming down the line. (of course I was referring to using the steam horn)

_________________
Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 11389
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:07 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

Diesels don't use steam. They use "air", as in "compressed air". Soooo...You were correct the first time. "hot air"....

He said it Suz, not me...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
stovepipe
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:50 am    Post subject: Re: I think I've reached an all time high this time Reply with quote

INCOMING! Shocked
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 2
All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Go to page 1, 2  Next



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by *Dizfunkshunal* :.