HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: PAJohn
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 12518

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 345
BOT: 3
Total: 348
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Home
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Photo Albums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Your Account
70: Your Account
71: Your Account
72: Forums
73: Your Account
74: Photo Albums
75: Your Account
76: Photo Albums
77: Photo Albums
78: Photo Albums
79: Photo Albums
80: Photo Albums
81: Photo Albums
82: Photo Albums
83: Forums
84: Your Account
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Your Account
88: Your Account
89: Your Account
90: Your Account
91: Your Account
92: Your Account
93: Your Account
94: Your Account
95: Your Account
96: Your Account
97: Photo Albums
98: Forums
99: Photo Albums
100: Your Account
101: Your Account
102: Your Account
103: Your Account
104: Your Account
105: Your Account
106: Your Account
107: Your Account
108: Photo Albums
109: Your Account
110: Your Account
111: Photo Albums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Your Account
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Your Account
129: Home
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Your Account
133: Your Account
134: Your Account
135: Your Account
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Forums
140: Forums
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Your Account
145: Your Account
146: Your Account
147: Your Account
148: Your Account
149: Photo Albums
150: Photo Albums
151: Photo Albums
152: Your Account
153: Forums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Forums
158: Home
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Forums
164: Forums
165: Forums
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Forums
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Forums
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Forums
181: Forums
182: Forums
183: Forums
184: Forums
185: Photo Albums
186: Forums
187: Home
188: Forums
189: Forums
190: Forums
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Forums
194: Forums
195: Forums
196: Forums
197: Forums
198: Forums
199: Photo Albums
200: Forums
201: Forums
202: Forums
203: Forums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Forums
209: Forums
210: Forums
211: Forums
212: Forums
213: Forums
214: Forums
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Forums
218: Forums
219: Forums
220: Forums
221: Forums
222: Forums
223: Forums
224: Forums
225: Forums
226: Forums
227: Forums
228: Forums
229: Forums
230: Forums
231: Forums
232: Forums
233: Forums
234: Forums
235: Forums
236: Forums
237: Forums
238: Forums
239: Forums
240: Forums
241: Forums
242: Forums
243: Forums
244: Forums
245: Forums
246: Forums
247: Forums
248: Forums
249: Forums
250: Forums
251: Forums
252: Photo Albums
253: Forums
254: Forums
255: Forums
256: Forums
257: Forums
258: Forums
259: Forums
260: Forums
261: Forums
262: Forums
263: Forums
264: Forums
265: Forums
266: News
267: Forums
268: Forums
269: Forums
270: Forums
271: Forums
272: Forums
273: Forums
274: Forums
275: Forums
276: Home
277: Forums
278: Forums
279: Forums
280: Forums
281: Forums
282: Photo Albums
283: Forums
284: Forums
285: Forums
286: Forums
287: Forums
288: Forums
289: Forums
290: Forums
291: Forums
292: Forums
293: Forums
294: Forums
295: Forums
296: Forums
297: Forums
298: Forums
299: Forums
300: Forums
301: Forums
302: Forums
303: Forums
304: Forums
305: Forums
306: Forums
307: Forums
308: Forums
309: Forums
310: Forums
311: Forums
312: Forums
313: Forums
314: Forums
315: Forums
316: Forums
317: Your Account
318: Forums
319: Your Account
320: Forums
321: Forums
322: Forums
323: Forums
324: Forums
325: Forums
326: Forums
327: Forums
328: Forums
329: Forums
330: Forums
331: Forums
332: Forums
333: Forums
334: Forums
335: Forums
336: Forums
337: Forums
338: Forums
339: Forums
340: Forums
341: Forums
342: Forums
343: Forums
344: Forums
345: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Your Account
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 304
 Pictures: 2343
  · Views: 313840
  · Votes: 1302
  · Comments: 85
 

Support our Advertisers

Conscription
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13199
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:20 am    Post subject: Conscription Reply with quote

Conscripting blokes over 50----this is funny & obviously written by a former soldier...

I am over 50 and the Defence Force thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. They've got the whole thing arseup. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old blokes. You shouldn't be able to join a defence unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old blokes only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young blokes haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry'. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some mongrel that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.. Old blokes always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical idiot."

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Training would be easier for old blokes.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty sheila. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. He still hasn't worked out that below-the-hip jeans or shorts will trip him up one way or another. But who said it looks good anyway? Duuuuur

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..

Let us old farts track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting women over 50...in menopause!!! You think men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! Shocked Shocked Shocked Hiding Hiding

If nothing else, put them on boat people border patrol......they will have it secured the first night!

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:21 am    Post subject: Re: Conscription Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
***How about recruiting women over 50...in menopause!!! You think men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! Shocked Shocked Shocked Hiding Hiding

If nothing else, put them on boat people border patrol......they will have it secured the first night!Cheers, Vince

Good idea Vince, and when they get hot flashes, they can jump overboard to cool off. Hiding

Now where's that ladder!!

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13199
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:27 am    Post subject: Re: Conscription Reply with quote

OV1 wrote:
...Now where's that ladder!!

It's over here mate...just follow the sound of my voice...I'm already up here. Hiding

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3271
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:22 am    Post subject: Re: Conscription Reply with quote

Must be from experience eh Vinnie? Omni? Very Happy

Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:33 am    Post subject: Re: Conscription Reply with quote

Suzanne wrote:
Must be from experience eh Vinnie? Omni? Very Happy Suz

Yup Suz your right: us men got to live with them. Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3271
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Conscription Reply with quote

Actually I know what you're talkin about. Had my fill in the Navy and if you thing the boys are bad....well, you know


Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7063
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 11:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Conscription Reply with quote

great idea Vince that way I could join the armed forces and still drive a truck, hells bells that would be a saving to the tax payer too cause us old farts know how to stay on the road and not crash.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.