HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Bobbo68
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 12631

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 140
BOT: 3
Total: 143
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Photo Albums
06: Forums
07: Photo Albums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Home
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Home
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Photo Albums
29: Home
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Photo Albums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Home
43: Home
44: Home
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: News
49: Forums
50: Photo Albums
51: Forums
52: Photo Albums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Your Account
63: Home
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Home
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Photo Albums
79: Photo Albums
80: Forums
81: Home
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Home
90: Home
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Home
94: Forums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Home
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Home
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Your Account
120: Home
121: Home
122: Forums
123: Home
124: Home
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Home
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Home
135: Home
136: Home
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Forums
140: Forums
  BOT:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2362
  · Views: 458358
  · Votes: 1311
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

The Little Bow Hunter
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 2:43 am    Post subject: The Little Bow Hunter Reply with quote

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow
beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land
sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you
know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before
it goes down?
Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was,
I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw
gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the
place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large
rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and
see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went
off in my head.. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought
that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let's
face it, to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really
doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1
pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can
of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the
(Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb.
Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a
firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the
house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock
to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow
launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my
dad getting out of the truck...OH sh*t! He just got home from work. So
help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the
can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his
eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow
pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the
main pile of Pyrodex and into the can.
Oh sh*t.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it
was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk
back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond
glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you
there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as
far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust
fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT
TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That sob got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my
Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport
having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:

ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT
CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All
windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow
rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a
Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders
are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I
know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own
head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really
matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt
a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out,
woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the
idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad
screaming "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom
had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything
about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of
bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good
discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

~Author Unknown

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13658
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 4:20 am    Post subject: Re: The Little Bow Hunter Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

Elvis...don't let your kids read this one mate....I seen that cheeky "I can do anything" look on your daughter's face in her pic. I reckon she could better this one mate.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7578
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 1:23 pm    Post subject: Re: The Little Bow Hunter Reply with quote

too true, its my boy thats into mischief at this stage,
plurry good 1 omni

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
fnuser
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 914
Location: S.W. Missouri, U.S.A.

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 3:23 pm    Post subject: Re: The Little Bow Hunter Reply with quote

too late he's got a bow

_________________
N.R.A. Endowment Member
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 9:36 pm    Post subject: Re: The Little Bow Hunter Reply with quote

And to think I just about got my boys into bow hunting....thank god i didn't, although the elder thought that making Jellied petrol and pipe bombs from the internet was a cool idea....until I showed him some pics at work of when it all goes wrong.....two guys locally lost a hand each when their pipe bomb hand grenades blew prematurely, anyone for shredded meat?

Bloody funny though Omni

_________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.