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A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFEJokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince Site Admin
Joined: May 25, 2005 Posts: 15714 Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 7:39 pm Post subject: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE |
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DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE
by Texas Bix Bender
Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Never ask a man the size of his spread.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up
_________________ Cheers, Vince
Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done) |
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slimjim Super Member
Joined: May 16, 2009 Posts: 8314 Location: Fort Worth TX
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 8:14 pm Post subject: Re: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE |
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Words of Wisdom for sure!
_________________ "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein |
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Elvis Super Member
Joined: Jul 27, 2008 Posts: 9253 Location: south island New Zealand
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Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:12 pm Post subject: Re: A COWBOY'S GUIDE TO LIFE |
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the world leading polititions and wannabe polititions could do worse than follow that last one.....
_________________ You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers! |
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