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Don't Mess with us earthlings
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14448
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:09 am    Post subject: Don't Mess with us earthlings Reply with quote

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." Smile

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. Confused

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. wtf Mad

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' Cool

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Surprised

P1ssed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!" Mad

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.' Cool

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. Pistol Shooting Pistol Shooting Flame A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head. Nuts Nuts Nuts

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?' Shocked

Razz The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied,



'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his male appendage over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.' Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Cool

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:16 am    Post subject: Re: Don't Mess with us earthlings Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 8192
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:52 am    Post subject: Re: Don't Mess with us earthlings Reply with quote

Man thats a classic Haha Haha

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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camel
Member
Member


Joined: May 30, 2011
Posts: 129
Location: Hillston Nsw Australia

PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:04 am    Post subject: Re: Don't Mess with us earthlings Reply with quote

No doubt about it Vince, you are picking up your game lately, watch out you dont loose the lemon title. Very Happy Very Happy

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Gut shot rabbits aint worth jack shit. Camel
Opinions are like rear ends, every one has got one.
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