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I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13124
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:47 pm    Post subject: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Just imagine...

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Qantas one year ago,
you would have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago,
you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago,
you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all
the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund,
you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average Aussie walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Aussies drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Aussies get about 41 miles to the gallon!


Makes you damned proud to be an Aussie!

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7011
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:33 pm    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

beer is good Cheers Cheers

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5735
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 3:24 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Cheers mate!!

Cheers

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2955
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 3:31 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Cheers to my Aussie brothers Very Happy

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"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
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dhc4ever
Super Member
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Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2254
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:40 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Ah Vince, I see you've been peeking at my super fund returns Sad

At the rate the ranga and the us economy is rapeing my retirement, beer is all I'll have left.......

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13124
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:50 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Will you be able to buy beer mate...I doubt I will. burr burr

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:55 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Will you be able to buy beer mate...I doubt I will. burr :burr:Cheers, Vince

Look at it this way Vince, with the price of everything going up and the price of gold sky rocketing through the roof, even a loaf of bread is an investment. Laughing

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13124
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 5:01 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Totally mate. Won't be long and even drawing a breath will cost us dearly.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10297
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 6:06 am    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Don't touch my coffee...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13124
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:25 pm    Post subject: Re: I ENJOY BEING AN AUSSIE! Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Don't touch my coffee...

Grow and roast your own mate. Not sure about your climate for coffee growing, but I'm sure with your smarts you can build a "tropical climate" somehow.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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