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Wives
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5836
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:48 pm    Post subject: Wives Reply with quote

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....

The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Minnesota . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 6:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Ok that was a good one!! Sometimes ya just gotta quit with the orders, some learn it the hard way. There are lots of reasons I won't wash other people's clothes and lots of reasons to stay clear of me if you want me to fetch. OOOOOF he still has difficulty when he pees, now me, I wouldn't go there, that's personal!

Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10489
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:35 am    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Being a proud chauvenist (incharge) male. I believe I'll stay out of this one...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:58 am    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

This one's got Wiersey written all over it!

+1 Bushmaster boss-man. Loose lips....can be painful!
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:26 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
I believe I'll stay out of this one...

Silence is the trusted friend of wisdom.

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10489
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:03 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Zzzzip...Mmmph...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13493
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

I'm not takin' a chance on SWMBO seein' this one...discretion is the better part of valour...I'm up the ladder. Hiding Cheers Cheers

Hey Wiersay...we need another ladder mate, this one is gettin' a mite crowded.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2336
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:19 am    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
I'm not takin' a chance on SWMBO seein' this one...discretion is the better part of valour...I'm up the ladder. Hiding Cheers Cheers

Hey Wiersay...we need another ladder mate, this one is gettin' a mite crowded.

Cheers, Vince

A bigger loft and an escalator more like it, the way you blokes are going.
You can put more beer in the loft than you can on a ladder, think about it.

_________________
Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13493
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 2:13 am    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

dhc4ever wrote:
Vince wrote:
I'm not takin' a chance on SWMBO seein' this one...discretion is the better part of valour...I'm up the ladder. Hiding Cheers Cheers

Hey Wiersay...we need another ladder mate, this one is gettin' a mite crowded.

Cheers, Vince

A bigger loft and an escalator more like it, the way you blokes are going.
You can put more beer in the loft than you can on a ladder, think about it.

Good point Pete...ok you buggers...who has the building expertise amongst us here? And we gotta have an inbuilt coldroom for the beer.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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