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Potatoes !!!!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13517
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 8:57 pm    Post subject: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

This one is gonna win me the sickest joke award back again...


Potatoes

Well, A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

And finally they got married, and had a little sweet
Potato, which they
Called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.


When it was time, they told her about the factsOf life.

They warned her about going
Out and getting
Half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and
Get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and
End up with a bunch of tater tots

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get
Her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.

When she went off to
Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam
To watch out
For the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. And
When she went out West, to
Watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped..

Yam said she would stay on the straight and
Narrow and wouldn't associate with
Those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all
The trucks that say,
'Frito Lay.'

Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's
Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for
Her, one-day Yam came home
And announced she was
Going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't
Possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.......

Are you
Ready for this?
*

*

*


Are
You sure?

*

*


OK!
Here it is!

*

*

*

*

*

*
A
COMMONTATER

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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hunterjoe21
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Haha

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 9:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Wow, I could only make it part way through. Please, others shouldn't try to challenge Vince!

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

very good

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wiersy111
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Well you got my vote!

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44marty
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:04 am    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Ouch Ow Ow Ow

You win, Vince

That's even cornier than:

I saw the chicken cross the road

*


*



*



*


It was poultry in motion.

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I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!!
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 1:12 am    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha

Good one Marty.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10504
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:31 am    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

O K everyone...Back away [slowly] from the ice chest. You all have had enough.

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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Ominivision1
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Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:48 am    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
O K everyone...Back away [slowly] from the ice chest. You all have had enough.

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

Between you and Suz, you both have got me in stitches.

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 1:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Elvis wrote:
very good

Elvis, don't you mean bad?!?


44marty wrote:
It was poultry in motion.

marty, that's not even a close second! But, please don't try again!

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chambered221
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Location: Lost for good !!!

PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and many others.

The graveside was piled high with flours as long-time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was still considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought he'd raise once again, but he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

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Vince
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 4:01 am    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

Well done Chambered.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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chambered221
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Joined: Aug 17, 2007
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 12:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Well thank you Vince, I can't take credit for it though.......I kinda borrowed it !!!

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Ask as many people needed, sooner or later your question will be answered the way you want it answered !!!

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.
~George Washington
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cbsweeney
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:05 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Vince, you are the best!

So this horse walks into a bar to order a beer, and the bartender say's " Hey Pal, why the long face".........

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Potatoes !!!! Reply with quote

Horses still pull street cars in New York?

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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