HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: JohnMill
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 12423

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 124
BOT: 5
Total: 129
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Photo Albums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Home
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Photo Albums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Your Account
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Your Account
27: Photo Albums
28: Photo Albums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Your Account
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Photo Albums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Photo Albums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Photo Albums
47: Forums
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Photo Albums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Your Account
67: Home
68: Photo Albums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Home
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Photo Albums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Photo Albums
86: Photo Albums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Your Account
94: Forums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Home
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Your Account
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
  BOT:
01: Photo Albums
02: Home
03: Forums
04: Home
05: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 300
 Pictures: 2357
  · Views: 275074
  · Votes: 1295
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Will this happen to us?
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12985
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:59 am    Post subject: Will this happen to us? Reply with quote

LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake
pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in.

"Disregard." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

_______________________________________

FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.

She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

_______________________________________

"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
_______________________________________

LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
_______________________________________

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

_______________________________________

OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time… but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and
thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes, she just stared and glared at her. Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

_______________________________________

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

“Heck,” said Herman, “It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!”
______________________________________

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car--both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an
intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was
really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.

So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?

______________________________________

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6893
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Will this happen to us? Reply with quote

reading through I think it already is!!!

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.